I escaped, but my mind is still trapped

[BoyMama]

Hello, I am new to the forum. Decided to sign in after I started feeling really lonely and misunderstood. No one of my close circle haven’t experienced what I did.. which was domestic and physical abuse. Not having anyone who can relate to my experience made my healing process really slow.. I have flash backs daily and I am really scared of what is going to happen after his bail conditions will be lifted.

[Phenomenon]

Hey BoyMama,

I am so sorry that this happened to you and that you are feeling so trapped. I can relate strongly and you must try and be kind to yourself. Firstly, this was not your fault. I would advise letting the police knowing how you feel to see what protection they can offer? Do you have a place where you can reside at? A friend or family member? If not perhaps a community hub and explain what has happened?

I hope everything turns out well for you
Remember it was never nor will it ever be your fault
I wish you all the best.
You are worthy

[Seekingsolace]

I feel this way too. You’re definitely not alone in those feelings. I don’t have any advice but just wanted to let you know I really relate to your post.

[Allornothing]

Hi BoyMama, have you been in touch with IDVA? The police should have referred you and if not, please speak to them and ask to be referred. They are lovely to talk to and really understand what you are going through, they can sign post you to other services and they can also liaise with the police if needed. I believe bail conditions are normally set for 3 months, if the police are looking to press charges then they can extend the conditions until the case is ready to go to the CPS. Don’t be afraid to ask, unfortunately for us we have to keep pushing to get the support but it is definitely out there! xx

[Dovegirl]

Hi BoyMama, welcome to the forum. I can totally relate to your feelings of loneliness, anxiety and isolation. Nobody can understand how bad it can be until you go through it yourself. You just cannot describe it. Have you been allocated an IDVA? I had mine through Victim Support via the police. She was excellent especially in those early days and now I’m with an ISVA who is equally as good, their advice and support to me has been invaluable. If you haven’t been offered this service, speak to your officer in charge about it. Regarding bail, if police are building a case to press charges, they can extend bail until it gets referred to CPS, then it goes to CPS bail until a decision is made. Like you I’ve suffered horrific flashbacks and nightmares since leaving my marriage. Again it’s all related to trauma. Keep pushing for help and advice. It’s there. Sometimes it’s not easy to ask but the support is out there. Be kind to yourself. You’re doing great and I hope everything turns out well for you xx

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