I feel sick

[Neverthoughtitwouldbeme]

I don’t have him or his close family on social media but I do keep in touch with his extended family as I have known them for a long time so do have them.

I looked through social media tonight and saw (removed by moderator) and his new gf. I feel sick. Not because I feel jealous or because I wish I was there but because no one knows what he is truly like. He portrays to be a nice guy when he is an abuser and it makes me sick.

When he left me for her I let her know some of the things he did, not details but enough to warn her. How she can remain with him and forget it all is beyond me. I worry for her and her safety. I did warn her and did all I could to avoid her being in an unsafe situation but she didn’t listen and it worries me.

I am annoyed that I feel safe now I am nowhere near him but still fear that he will hurt her. I fear that it will come out and come back to me as everyone will wonder if I suffered too when she eventually does.

I chose not to tell for my own reasons and understand that I can’t now resent that decision but I am also so so angry that I live with what he did, meanwhile he lives a life full of lies but is able to still paint this perfect picture.

I knew the first Xmas would be hard but I have been jumpy all day and nervous for some reason. I know I am safe as he doesn’t know where I am but I can’t help but worry.

I just wish none of it happened and that I could move on from all the trauma.

It makes me sick that people can treat us so badly and get away with it but again, that was my decision I guess.

Sorry for the rant. It’s Christmas and I need to be grateful for where I am today. It’s just hard when I wish he would take some responsibility.

Stay safe everyone x

[Darcy]

Hi beautiful angel,
I understand completely what you are saying, and it shows your compassion and what a lovely person you are that you are worried for your ex’s new girlfriend
However, honestly would you have listened if an ex girlfriend would have warned you about him?
Sometimes we have to find and experience things the hard way as sad and as hurtful as it may seem
And dont be thinking that they are all happy and loved up… people probably use to think that of you and him and you clearly know that is not true
Keep the focus on you my darling and your life now … send them love and wish them well that is all you can do
Dont let what he is doing now seep into your new life without him
Sending you continued love and support and a very happy Christmas
Darcy xx

[Anonymous]

They wont take responsibility hun, they’re egos are too big and the perception of themselves they like to portray to others is that of a perfect person (so it has to be everyone else apart from them) I understand your wanting to warn her but chances are he’s lied to her about you and there’ll be the assumption that your jealous (we know your not and your trying to protect her) abusers are sly and clever we know that much they don’t seem to have the empathy normal people do, trauma can last a lifetime he’s gone but your memories and limbic system are still alert and I really feel for you cos I 💯 understand, the only thing you can do now is try and take care of yourself and be there for others who’ve been through it 💗💞💗

[Bananaboat]

He’s probably in the love bombing stage with her or she’s still in the stage of ignoring the red flags. Even if you do make contact he will make up lies to make out you’re crazy or still in love with him, anything to discredit you to her and even if he doesn’t, as others have said would you’ve listened to his ex at the start? Unless you have any mutual friends you could have a quiet word to say look out for her, then you’ll probably have to stay well away. Focus on you and your recovery for now. She might contact you herself in the future

[Neverthoughtitwouldbeme]

Thank you for your replies and support, it means the world! I have been in a much better head space today and understand that it is totally out of my control. I can only focus on myself and my new life without him which I am so so grateful for.

Merry Christmas everyone. May 2022 bring us happiness x

[Hopefulgreyrock]

I completely know how yoy feel. Everything you said. Everything. The fear, the anger, the frustration that everyone thinks he is wonderful when he isn’t. The lies he tells about you to others. The worrt for a new girl but you know you can’t do anything about it, you’ve donw all you cn.

I feel you.

[Author]

Posts