I feel so bad

[Anonymous]

I have blocked him on everything but cannot on my work email and apple email. I am trying my best to stay strong and away from him. He says this is what he went through with his ex. Does that mean she was a victim of abuse or am I just overthink everything? I loved him so much this feeling hurts. I received a video from him of him wanting to hurt himself. Why is he doing this to me. His family want to speak to me but I am ignoring everything. Questioning myself if I made the right choice. Feeling guilty over him hurting himself is this my fault for leaving him, have I made the right decision? I left him because he does not give me the reassurance I needed when I was in the relationship and he pushed me to far as I would sit up all night crying worried sick. Him not answering my calls or texts. Not knowing if he is back taking drugs or drinking again was destroying me making me paranoid. And all I needed was reassurance. Now he says he will give it me but it feels too late as I waited up every night crying and overthinking.

[freedomtochoose]

Stand firm Anon. Plug those gaps where contact is seeping through and upsetting you.
It might help for you also to get in touch with those organisations that support people
who have had relationships with those abusing drugs.

Frank telephone line is probably a good place to start they will signpost further…
You need some space for yourself to get some rest and think straight..
all best
ftc
x

[backtome]

Stay strong, you’re doing SO well.

I would be inclined to think that yes, he has done this to someone else, which is even more confirmation that you’re doing the right thing!. Keep posting, we’re all here for you. x

[Anonymous]

I’m so afraid I ended up answering his call as I was waiting on another call which is also on uknown. Literally he is saying he is getting help. Even if he is I want to stay away from him he is draining me with everything I just want to cry once again I feel even after I ended up mistakenly answering his call I am last as (detail removed by moderator). Which I’m glad he is getting help but to have sent all the pictures, videos, calls and messages and then tell me he will call me back (detail removed by moderator). Like what the hell he says he only needs me. Is everything a lie as it feels it is! Thank you so much for your support I really appreciate it x*x

[freedomtochoose]

keep going anon. You have identified that you want to stay away from him.
Try not to blame yourself for mistakenly answering his call. It is understandable and under normal circumstances you wouldn’t have these anxiety levels and shouldn’t have to worry about these things.
all best
ftc
x

[KIP.]

Trust your gut. They are great liars. Report his contact to the police. You can ask the police using Claire’s Law if he has previous convictions for this type of behaviour x

[Author]

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