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I don’t even know what to post any more.
He won’t let’s but the house from him even though he has accepted the price from a stranger. The buyers now gone. So I’m going to see if I can force it.
One of the bills in the house has more than doubled because he didn’t sort it out correctly. I thought i would stop paying it but all the others are in my name so i would be worse off.
I can also see that he has no idea with how to pay bills and that having me there doing it is an easy option.
To get it sorted out quickly I spoke to him as a one off. But he used it as an opportunity to play the dieing card again. He is due to have an operation soon. He was saying its serious but though painful it’s not life-threatening. Karma more like but I went onto a confused state that I wanted to look after him. I did realize what was happening and walked away. But damage is done.
Another thing is the intimadation has up a notch I even had the police in for a chat. All they could suggest was to sell it him but he says he can’t afford it. (Could have bought me out at the start)
I had a message that my daughter wanted to speak to me. And when I messaged her yesterday I got told I was to late.
In with this my job is very demanding. And work is drying up so as last in I would be first out.
A big part of me just wants to rest. But I want to survive and have a place of my own.
Sometimes I fell it was easier when we were a couple because I had my children. But even as I’m written that statement I disagree.
Just need a crystal ball.
Sorry about rant just want it all to go away.
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Hey there. I think you’re trapped in his crazy making. He has made it obvious that he is sitting pretty, he’s not going anywhere while he has you to abuse and make him feel powerful. Have you spoken to your solicitor about going to court to force him to take your offer to buy him out. These men won’t do anything until they are trapped in a corner or forced to do it. The longer you are there, the less energy you have to escape. With regards to your daughter, she is a victims too. All we can do is leave the lines of communication open for our children when they need us. I have experienced a kind of trauma bonding to my house. My house was where horrific abuse took place but also where I ran when I had panic attacks and where I felt safe. A bit like our abusers. Try to think if that’s deep down what’s holding you there x
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Hi KIP
I have email my solicitor about taking him to court. The reason I said I’d buy the house was because I thought it was the quickest way out of living with him. Then in a couple of years put it back on the market with the atmosphere he makes.
I want what I’m owed and I can’t figure a way out without letting him have it all.
Sad to say being abused is a way of life and I can’t imagined a life with out it.
FS 🙁
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Thanks KIP
Its nice that someone can understand how I feel when I find it hard to understand myself.
I am totally muddled with the trauma of living with him. Will I ever be strong enough to get out?
I will leave everything up to my solicitor to sort it out the house and my sibling to sort out any communication with my children as that is destroying me.
FS
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Hang in there. Sometimes just making a decision to let others carry the burden can release some pressure. We are so conditioned by decades of abuse that our world is distorted. I was strong enough to get out after decades. I made up my mind what I was going to accept and I told my solicitor and family to help me get in. And don’t let me stray from the path. Get the house off him. Get him out and sell at your leisure. If I can escape after the hell I was in then anyone can. You too. Just keep asking for help x PS every word that leaves his mouth is a lie. Dont let him drag you back into his dysfunction.
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