I finally left and in temporary accommodation

[Desperatelyseekingsamadhi]

Hey,

I’m not sure what the point of this post is other than I need an outlet.

(timeframe removed by Moderator) I finally left. I packed up myself and my little one, crammed most of our belongings into the car and after speaking to the council, checked into a hotel. We’re here for the foreseeable.

I’d been thinking what I have been experiencing was emotional abuse for quite a while, but (timeframe removed by Moderator) something clicked and I just knew I had to leave immediately. I had already roughly planned who I needed to call and what I needed to say to get the help, but had kept it all secret from my now ex. I didn’t think I would actually get to the point of leaving.

so I sit here in the hotel bathroom whilst little one naps in the bedroom because he CANNOT fall asleep unless alone in the room. Surrounded by a tiny amount of toiletries. I have half a tank of petrol, some pasta and snacks, and a potentially long wait for the next phase of temporary accommodation.

I’ve called off work indefinitely. I’ve finally told two friends what I’ve been going through, and the situation I’m in now. They had no idea. I’ve been so isolated and lonely. Pretending everything is ok in public, unable to stop the tears in private.

Now I need to stay strong and stay away. I desperately miss home. I miss my space, my things, my own bed, my kitchen, my dog! I miss having more than a room and a tiny bathroom. And silly as it sounds, I miss him. Our relationship was pretty d**n long. He’s the one person who has been consistent. Who’s been there through everything – even if not especially helpful or sympathetic – he was there.

I keep reminding myself that I’m on my journey to peace. That’s all I want, peace. I haven’t felt that in such a long time. My chest is tight, my face hurts from trying to keep smiling and holding back the tears. I’m physically and mentally exhausted. I don’t know where we go from here, but for now it’s just me and my brave little kiddo.

love and light ✨

[EvenSerpentsShine]

Sending you love and solidarity. It’s not easy where you are now. It will get better, but, if you’re anything like me, it will take a bit of time.

You are so brave. Well done.

It is so worth it in the end!
After (timeframe removed by Moderator) months I am finally SO happy again.

 

[Desperatelyseekingsamadhi]

Thank you so so much for your response. This makes me feel like this struggle I’m in at the moment will be worth it eventually!

[Allornothing]

Hiya, I just want to send some love as I have also been there.  It’s not easy but it does get better, I think I was running on adrenaline and not knowing what the next day would bring.

Hopefully your friends will give you some support but quite often we either have to do it on our own, or if like me, I knew I had to push myself forward and with wise words from my daughter, not let him manipulate me with empty and fake promises.

As Evenserpentshine said, it is worth it in the end and you will look back and admire the strength you had.  There will be dips, please reach out to any local support that you can. I had help once I was given permeant accommodation for furniture, external camera’s etc.

Lastly, ensure your employer gives you the support and time that you need.  Sending lots of love xx

[Fullmonty56]

Just wanted to let you know your not on your own with this one!!!

I’m in exactly the same position although I’m still in my home(as it was mine before we got together)but was left with nothing but debt had to give my job as I presume stress brought on the most horrendous stomach pains I couldn’t continue.

i felt safe staying where I am only as it’s a cul de sac(one way in and out) the house has security and a panic alarms.

But the worry is always there.

social media I’ve found I have to stay away from.

im really starting to struggle financially and im now finding myself isolated and just wanting to stay in my safe place!

My brain is constantly worry worry worry all the time it’s exhausting I hope you keep strong and know your not alone.

i could go on and on but I won’t…just know one day you will look back and not only learn but be so glad you have made the first step x

 

 

[Allornothing]

Hi Fullmonty56, debt and isolation is definitely something we suffer from and it is so unfair!  When putting our boundaries up, social media is definitely a first step as it keeps us safe from the drama, updates and people portraying lives that most of the time aren’t real.

By putting our boundaries up we do isolate ourselves which is ok!  My daughter said to me earlier that her boyfriend said what I sweet little life I lead – I didn’t know whether to laugh or be offended but actually, he is right. My life is peaceful, I don’t have money to enjoy life as I pay off the debt and sometimes feel like a sitting duck!

But what we do have is peace, the worry eventually fades slightly but I think will always be there.  When I was living in temporary accommodation, I used to drive to work and wonder where I would be in 6 months/a year and now I do that drive and wish I could go back and tell that version of myself not to worry, it will all be fine, not perfect but peaceful!  xx

[Author]

Posts