I hate myself

[LozzyX]

This morning I am not too good… I know , I know , it’s all part of the manipulation (not even deliberate but still it is always what gets me sucked back in feeling sorry for him etc ) … So as he does quite a bit lately, he’s now just sleeping and refusing to drink water or look after himself… Makes me feel terrible for wanting to end things…

…was I a good enough wife ? If I had left during one of the crisis moments would I have felt better? Instead I’ve told him it’s over during a fairly calm period as I realised no matter what he says or does it will never ever go back to the way things were and I was suspicious of his every move (drug addict)

I now just feel so so guilty and sad. My world is crashing down around me… Yet it was me who wanted out …I should be releived?

[LozzyX]

Gosh I am so pathetic, looking for validation to tell me no I’m not terrible … I will never forgive myself I didn’t do enough to help him or save our relationship that is the truth and I am absolutely devastated

[Anabela]

Hello. Even if it does not feel like that, you have not done anything bad that you need to.be forgiven for. You did your best to save marriage. But now you need to save yourself and focus on yourself. As you know the good and calm moments are part of the cycle. They are not real. They mask the bad times and they dont last.
It is him who has not done enough. Now he is using emotional manipulation by not looking after himself and hoping to affect you and make you feel guilty. And he managed that.mine used the same techniques.
He is an adult. Not a child. He is fully capable to look after himself.
Hugs xx

[Apricotpoppy]

Hi LozzyX, you are a kind and loving partner. You have given him so much support, time, energy,love and money. He would keep taking until you are an empty shell. He has abused you and still is.
You are not responsible for him, he is quite capable of surviving without you.
When they are manipulating things like this we can’t think straight so you must get away from him. Can you go and stay with someone?
I agree with Anabela use your precious energy to save yourself.
All the best
Apricot poppy x

[Only]

My husband same lost contral temper and very much violence and words are posing for hearts maybe forgiveness we giving but never forget how much felt pain always be there forever i I don’t know myself anymore in my heart is there any more love left to feel but I might have something for him pity or sorry for the reason he needs more than me help I try to help him get better i first though he is the father of my kids giving him the second thought after again he not changing end I believe nevertheless no more hope just because you have responsibilities though and trying to help him my advice becareful lost temper feelings don’t me yourself dangerous abuse always being careful I still suffering with him hope you are better than me winning happiness take care

[keepgoing]

I am in a similar position just know. I left just over a week ago during a calm period like you which and I’m feeling extremely guilty about how hard he is dealing with it. I’m taking it one day at a time just now only thing we can do is try think of what our life’s will be like in the longer term.

[Author]

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