I know I wont go back.
I just wish I didnt have to grieve the loss of him not being in my life.
Irony is im trying to fight for him not to be in my life.
Again the nature of abuse right.
I miss him.
I’m scared of him.
Why cant I let my feelings go. Wish I had a fast forward button.
Trauma bonding is a very real thing. It’s compared to an addiction it’s that strong.
Your body gets used to the highs and lows. The highs are so high, but the lows are really low.
You miss the pattern even though you know it’s not healthy.
It is perfectly normal to be experiencing this, breaking a trauma bond is a process but you can do it.
As hard as these emotions are right now, feel them, use them to keep you strong. Im a big believer in you need to go through it to get over it.
It will get easier, sadly it’s just time but the bad days will get fewer.
There is so much support here for you x*x