I need to leave

[Landrover560]

We have (number removed by Moderator) children he controls pretty much every aspect of my life and makes me feel guilty when I go against him. I know this is abuse the problem with leaving is he will not return the children and tell me I’m unstable and I’m far from it. I am completely surrounded by his entire family I have requested to be placed on the housing register in a different county but there is no way of leaving without him realising what I’m doing he has the outside of the house covered in cameras his family are my neighbours and the council have said I need evidence of abuse.  At this point I don’t care what he does to me but when I try to leave and be amicable with him he tries to manipulate the children and make them feel guilty he was caught (timeframe removed by Moderator) talking to (relative removed by Moderator) and pretending to be someone else I saw all the messages for myself I really don’t know what to do or even how to come up with a plan to leave I have (number removed by Moderator) children with additional needs and I don’t think a refuge is the right place for us to go.

[Lisa]

Hi Landrover560,

Welcome and thank you for sharing about your situation.

You deserve to be leave safely and there is support to help you do this. You could reach out to your local domestic abuse service for some ongoing, specialist support. Local services differ but many will be able to help you make a plan to leave safely and advocate with council housing teams on your behalf. If you want to discuss your situation and options in more detail, you could speak with a Women’s Aid worker using our Live Chat service. They won’t tell you what to do but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. There’s also information on leaving a relationship safely in our Survivor’s Handbook.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Lemmy]

I’ve been in a relationship for (number removed by Moderator) years and was lined up to leave and sell the house co parent  etc when he is  diagnosed with (medical condition removed by Moderator) . Which he now believes gives him a free pass at directing his anger and hostily , amped up with the injustice of being left at the point of treatment, it’s awful . And he’s a n********t so there’s no reasonable discussion where there s a full on victim on social display. My son , who is (age removed by Moderator) and autistic is in the middle of this .
what shall I do next, use the law to enforce a clarity that he doesn’t recognise behind closed doors. I can’t explain what torture this is . Is there a councillor who can guide me to climb out? This is hellish

[Lisa]

Hi Lemmy,

Thank you for sharing with us. I am sorry to hear about what you are going through, it sounds very difficult for you. If you haven’t already made contact with your local domestic abuse service then this would be a good next step as they can often offer ongoing emotional and practical support with making a plan based on your circumstances. You can find your local service here.

Keep posting when you can, we are here for you.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[Author]

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