I now have trust issues

[Broadbodiedchaser]

How do I learn to trust again? The most lovely person came into my life again (detail removed by moderator) and he’s just been abroad for 2 weeks with his work. He’s now staying on with half a dozen staff, (detail removed by moderator) and taken loads of photographs of his trip which he’s posted daily to me, a few of with her in it, one of which he subsequently deleted and now these few remaining staff (including her) are staying an extra day in a hotel… I’ve started feeling completely paranoid for no actual reason and I can’t stop worrying. Why am I so paranoid now?

[Broadbodiedchaser]

It could be peri-menopause hormones as well?

[Bananaboat]

Ok, yes there might be things you need to work on but remember it’s not all on you. Ask yourself is he doing anything to reassure you knowing your past, how does he react if you ask questions, are you scared to talk to him, that kind of thing before accepting full responsibility here x

[Broadbodiedchaser]

I will talk with him, when I see him next week. We usually talk well together. He’s had the most amazing experience abroad and I just don’t want to ruin things. I should try to learn to trust someone again. Step at a time I guess. Thank you.

[Broadbodiedchaser]

I’m feeling full on anxiety now, can’t sleep and heart is racing. I hope it’s hormones and I’m not just ‘like this’ now? I said goodnight to him, he’s 5 hours behind me and my message didn’t reach him straight away on WhatsApp… just a single tick. Then he read it a while later and hasn’t replied 🙁 Why am I becoming ‘this’?

[StrongLife]

It’s understandable that you have trust issues. I understand that and fear that it will go that way again.

I would say it’s a common reaction.

[Broadbodiedchaser]

The anxiety was wholly unnecessary. Things seem fine, I’m just insecure. I think I fear being on my own as well. With hindsight, I should have avoided another relationship straight after leaving my emotionally abusive ex. But you can’t always plan timing of things. I try to take each day a step at a time and to some extent put myself first now. I think this is what’s needed to help me to get ‘back on my feet’ and to increase my confidence. Thank you.

[Author]

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