I pay most bills is it abuse

[Mellow]

I’m sorry I keep posting but what has been happening to me has come up very sudden my partner now ex does not share the rent with me financially for (detail removed by Moderator) he stayed at home with the baby so I didn’t mind now he’s got a good job works lots of hours I get universal credit got 4 kids some child maintenance for a child what’s not his and child benefit I get just over £(detail removed by Moderator) a month for universal his wages can be just over or considerably he knew how much I got due to being on a claim of mine.when he started his job we agreed he would pay half rent but then no discussion stopped paying he said he stopped because I had too much money and the post man delivered too many parcels (most were kids clothes) I didn’t let onto that I knew he stopped paying almost a year till I confronted him .I then found out he was building several properties abroad and feel totally left out.but then I added up what he spends roughly on bills and me and I still spend more.but to myself I am saying well I don’t work why should he work his arse off and get little money .then I argue to myself but I’m a mum.I don’t cook for him(which he hates ) cause he has his cultural food I never really learned to cook it and any attempt would have probably been judged anyway.recently said I would change that but relationship over now.he does do chores so it makes it look like I’m complaining for nothing.I guess I’m asking if it’s right to withhold money like that

[Mellow]

Also I’ll add I don’t always get that money I get £(detail removed by Moderator) because he does more hours and my rent is £(detail removed by Moderator) I told him I have to dip into my child maintenance and I don’t like that cause it’s my sons and I was saving it for my son when he leaves home or any of his needs I told him he’s living off another man

[Bananaboat]

Sounds like financial abuse, in a normal relationship bills and responsibilities should be shared, decisions on what to pay are discussed. In abusive relationships it’s more what’s theirs is theirs, and what’s our is there to pay for them. If you ask for help/money and get an earful of abuse, criticism or excuses why he’s entitled view of life means he doesn’t have to pay it’s a big red flag of abuse.

[Author]

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