I professionally embarrassed myself

[Cantmakedecisons]

I’ve been struggling but trying to hide the torment. Today I broke down after a patient decided to make a “nice” comment about me. I list it emotionally and couldn’t continue with my job. They’ve signed me off work for a few weeks to rest and gather myself. I feel so embarrassed and useless.

I hate this is still ruling every aspect of my life. I feel desperate and hopeless but no where to turn.

[Mime]

Please try not to feel embarrassed – I know its hard- I was also signed off with stress for the same kind of reasons (I have professional job in the ‘caring’ professions).

I say this because I want you to know you’re not alone – you belong to a community of women who have suffered in the same way you suffer – and that’s actually an amazing thing. You are loved by this community- there is kindness and respect and care here – you belong here and this is more important than a job (hard to belive but its true) and its more powerful than the abuse you have experienced.

I know you feel desperate but you’re not alone – others have trodden your path – you truly are a survivor and that has a nobility to it. Hold your head high. Be proud. You are amazing just to have made it here, writing on this forum- these are your people. If you can, take comfort – patients are just patients, jobs are just jobs. Colleagues and bosses are just that. This is the real stuff of life- don’t feel ashamed, feel proud – you’re here, you’re cared about. You matter more than you know. You deserve to be loved – just because you do – be kind to yourself x*x

[KIP.]

What a lovely post from Mime 💕 and so true. On a practical note I found counselling to be fantastic. Please seek some out x I felt the same. When someone was nice to me I couldn’t handle it. Even strangers. It was like I’d been held hostage for decades then released and my emotions were all over the place but it settles down x

[iliketea]

Sending you love, mimes beautiful reply says it all. Xx

[Twisted Sister]

hi

revealing anything as deep as this about yourself can feel so exposing and I am so sorry for your pain and suffering, but please be as patient with yourself as you expect yourself to be with other paitnts. Be gentle on yourself, you’ve been through so much and had to be so strong, too strong, for too long, eventually you have to let go, and someone’s kind words unlocked that floodgate where the pressure has been building.

You wouldnt tell another that they were embarrassing for being upset and breaking down, you would want them to feel supported and not distressed.

Your GP has given you the break to step away from other responsibilities for a little while, to treat yourself well, and maybe find some ongoing supports to offload to regularly for a little while going forward.

warmest wishes

ts

[Bettertimesahead]

I too am a caring professional,last year ended up sick for (removed by moderator) months. It’s time to look after you now. Don’t be embarrassed either, none of this was your fault. I recently got referred to the safeguarding team at work and they have been fantastic.Things will get better. Take care xx

[Lisa]

Hi Cantmakedecisions,

As the others have expressed so well; be kind to yourself and know that these emotions are absolutely OK to feel and a normal process of your healing.
It may be helpful to get in touch with a local domestic abuse service to give you some further support and a chance to speak to other women who have been through similar situations to yourself. Often they offer emotional one-to-one or groups support.
You could also contact the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) by looking on their website: https://www.bacp.co.uk/ . The BACP is a professional body for the setting, monitoring and raising standards in counselling and psychotherapy for public benefit. The BACP Client Information Helpdesk Telephone: 01455 883316 is a service which will enable potential clients to find a suitable counsellor with whom they feel comfortable in their particular area. They seek to remove the anxiety that may be associated with choosing a counsellor. They are happy to discuss any queries or concerns which may arise whilst choosing a counsellor or during the counselling process.
You could also try calling Supportline who offer confidential emotional support to reach people before they get to “crisis” point. They offer support by telephone, email and post. They work with callers to develop healthy, positive coping strategies, an inner feeling of strength and increased self-esteem to encourage healing, recovery and moving forward with life. They also keep details of counsellors, agencies and support groups throughout the UK. They cover a wide range of issues, including domestic abuse. They can also refer locally. You can contact them on 01708 765200, or visit their website at http://www.supportline.org.uk.
The Freedom Programme is an 11 or 12 week rolling programme which provides information about male violence to women. This programme identifies the tactics abusers use, the beliefs held by abusers, and the effects that domestic abuse can have on women and children. The Freedom Programme is for women who have experience of domestic abuse, be it in their personal or professional lives. You can start the programme at any time, and you can attend as many or as few sessions as you choose. Each session is entirely confidential, and you can contribute as much, or as little, of your own thoughts and experiences as you like. Many women find this a very useful support group as it is available to women whether they are experiencing current or past abuse. The Freedom Programme is run in many locations across the UK. More information about the Programme can be found on their website – http://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/index.php.
I don’t want to overwhelm you with information, but just wanted to provide a few options that you may find helpful.
Keep posting, we’re all here for you.

Lisa

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