I still love and care about him

[Smiles]

I managed to run away and report the physical abuse to the police (removed by moderator) ago.
He is in prison and will be for a while.
He gets messages me to daily.
He tells me he still loves me and lists of memories we share and how much he misses me.
I struggle to ignore him and i just want to talk to him and give him another chance.
He says he has changed and nobody compares to me so he is not giving up.
Our relationship was abusive, physically and mentally. He would accuse me of cheating on him constantly and hated me seeing friends, family even going to work. He use to lock me in the house to stop me leaving.
I feel like I will never get over him or be able to love somebody again !

[Healthyarchive]

Dear Smiles, this link may help you with this Trauma Bonding.

https://victimsofpsychopaths.wordpress.com/traumatic-bonding/

I feel now that I still care about my ex, i feel sorry for him and believe he is a damaged soul, this hurts me to think of him that way. You will find as the time goes on and the more you post & read on here you feelings will change. X*X I think your ex is a dangerous abuser who is manipulating and tricking you, getting into your mind, please dont’ let it continue as its really dangerous. My advice is to get out while he is inside, you have the chance.

[Smiles]

Yes he is very manipulating and the way he talks is as if nothing bad really happened. I suffered the abuse for only (removed by moderator) , I became ill and numb and withdrew myself from everybody. I lost over 2 stone in weight. I made an escape route and stuck to it, I feel so sorry for him and believe he would of liked a nice relationship.
Are the allergations due to a paranoia or solely for control? Will he always treat partners the same? Did/does he really love me?
I have so many questions that I suppose will never be answered.

[Anonymous]

I loved my ex so much till i seen his mask fall off! No contact hun these Abusers dont change .. hugs hun xx

[Healthyarchive]

Dear Smiles, If i could turn the clock back i would have finished with my ex at the sight of the first red flags, within 2 weeks of knowing him. Instead I put my head in the sand and allowed myself to be charmed, love bombed, then devalued and finally discarded without a second look. He destroyed me psychologically and still now I am trying to feel better. If you do not want your mental peace of mind shot to pieces I would advise you to finish it now, move on and break away. X*X

[Ayanna]

You need to report his advances to the police. I am sure he is not allowed to contact you.
Change your phone number and make sure he can never find you. He is sick.

Read the link that HA gave you.
Also, find out when the next Freedom Programme runs in your area. That will benefit you a lot.

Keep posting here! You have done extremely well to get out and report him. x*x

[Smiles]

Thank you for all your messages. X*x

Yes I agree, there were red flags at the beginning of our relationship and I didn’t realise how scared I was of him.
He doesn’t contact me directly because I have changed my number, he gets messages to me through others. Yes you are right he is not allowed to contact me. I don’t find the police very understanding, I wouldn’t report to them again unless I was in immediate danger which while he is locked away I’m not.

since I left I have had horrendous nightmares, how do you stop them? X*x

[Healthyarchive]

Dear Smiles, honestly, I wish I could be in your shoes as you are at the position right now where you can save yourself so much future horrible distress, i wish that I had listened to my gut instinct within (removed by moderator). He destroyed my mental health and now I am having to try to put myself together again. You just need to end it and move on, block everybody and everything, even move away or go into a refuge, do it right now while you have a chance. you might also like all of these short reads:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Books-H-G-Tudor/s?ie=UTF8&page=1&rh=n%3A266239%2Cp_27%3AH%20G%20Tudor

Once out and away you can start to repair the damage done so far. X*X

[Author]

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