I think I’m pregnant

[VikingQueen]

I can’t say much for legal reasons but I recently got away from a controlling ex and I’ve just done 3 pregnancy tests and they’re all positive.
I had given up all hope of ever getting pregnant as it has just never happened to me in any relationship and I was thinking the menopause might be not far off for me.
All I’ve ever wanted my whole life was to be a mum and it’s been a source of constant sorrow that it never happened.
Has anyone been in this position? Do I have to tell him? This was my chance to finally get away and now I’m absolutely in shock.
I’m going to ring the dr tomorrow but I’m freaking out right now.

[terribleheadspace]

Maybe you can get confidential advice?
Maybe speak to someone like a local domestic abuse specialist in the morning they may be able to advise you first if you have a legal obligation to tell the ex. I’m guessing you do but maybe due to the reason you split you may have some protection or can put something in place for you and baby.

Maybe you could also ask them if you are allowed to relocate far away before baby is born, that may give you some peace of mind even if he knows about the child. Maybe if you are allowed to keep it confidential until baby is born even it may give you time to set up a safe place and know what safeguards you can put in place for you and baby.

Do you have police involved/ non molestation or restraining order? Maybe that might make a difference?
Just chucking things out there.

Lastly congratulations

[Eggshells]

Wow! That’s fantastic news. Congratulations. I’m so sorry that it comes bundled up with so many difficult concerns.

You don’t need to do anything in a hurry (except to look after yourself and your baby). You have time to work this out, get some legal advice and put together an action plan.

Try to focus on the positive. Whilst you do have to work out whether or not to tell him, it doesn’t have to be your nain focus. xx

[Lisa]

Hi VikingQueen,

I hope you’ve managed to speak to a doctor. You’ve had good advice above, you don’t have to rush into anything; gather information and support. There is help available whilst you decide how to proceed.

You might find the following page on the Child Law Advice website helpful regarding your rights-
‘Legal position relating to unborn children.’

Also have a read through the Rights of Women’s guide to Parental Responsibility.

The following organisations can offer information and advice around pregnancy choices and your rights:

–Maternity Action
–The British Pregnancy Association (BPAS)

The most important factor is that you can keep yourself safe, you should not have to have direct contact with your abusive ex partner. I am not in a position to offer legal advice but the organisations above should help you to learn what your rights are.

Look after yourself,

Lisa

[Author]

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