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Firstly thank you to anyone out there reading this. Tonight I am very angry. Some of you will have followed the odd post that I have made over the past few months and, like many victims out there and on here, I have cried myself to sleep most nights broken hearted at the monster he is. I so wish that I had evidence of what he has done over the past number of months to me but I don’t. The police interviewed him and I was so in love with him at the time that I didn’t make a statement so there was no evidence to go on and he was obviously very charming and manipulative in the interview so they let him go and I was told that he obviously still loved me very much and that he wasn’t angry with me….this was a ‘trained’ female police officer who said this to me after calling me by accident looking for him and then asking me for his number! Then he was very much aware and I so wish that I had got evidence of the screaming of the nasty person that was underneath. Anyway, two months no contact later and he is thriving while I am still broken and I want him to pay but I have no evidence other than a few texts and whatsapp messages that are a little dubious but not enough to bring him down. I know that he has a previous conviction for domestic abuse as I found this out through Clare’s Law but this is not taken into consideration unless it were to go to court much further down the line….what do I do? I sit here with lines on my face from all the crying, trying to build myself up again after losing so much weight and feeling exhausted all the time as I come to terms with everything he has done and how it affected my health. I cannot prove this but I have a strong gut feeling that he is talking to people in my work about me on the quiet telling them I am messed up and that he had to walk away from me. We work in the same industry and I helped to get him more work through my credibility there but now I feel that he is discrediting it. He came up to two of my close friends in work a couple of months ago on the quiet saying he was worried about me and was I eating and sleeping and to keep an eye on me like there was something wrong with me. They didn’t react or let on that they knew the monster he is but what if he is saying this to other people that wouldn’t disclose this to me and they believe him as he is charming and believable as anything. I fell for everything so other people will too. I want him done for what he has done to me.
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Hi Peacethroughhealing
Its great that you are feeling strong enough to be thinking about reporting the abuse to the police. You wont know until you tell the police everything and show them the evidence you have what they will be able to do unfortunately. If there is not enough evidence to prosecute him your statement will be on file and may help in the future if other victims of his come forward.
Take care and keep posting
Lisa
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I think what you need to remember for everyone who believes him, someone will believe you and they’re the ones to invest your time in. You may not be able to go further with the court process with him, but as he has a known history it may just be that WHEN he does it again, because he will do that person he does it to will have enough evidence to be able to take you to court.
I think we can often be so consumed with anger we stop ourselves from healing. If you haven’t already I strong recommend stop focusing on revenge or him getting his compuence focus on self healing and that alone is all you’ll need in the end. Counselling and therapy worked a treat for me. My ex is still walking around and controlling me through our daughter, but my strength comes from people believing me and knowing I escaped him.
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