I was abused by a woman

[LittleBigFeet]

Finding it hard to come to terms with the abuse I suffered at the hands of my female ex partner. And also the aftermath of her hate campaign against me. I can’t go out anywhere, I’m paranoid all the time…moving out of my town in (detail removed by moderator) just to escape it all but I’m so scared I won’t really be escaping. That I’m still trapped in my head. In my town, my abuser is seen as some kind of gay saviour. She’s everywhere and I can’t get away. Sorry just need to vent…It’s been (detail removed by moderator) and I still can’t seem to move on.

[KIP.]

Hi there, I wonder if you’ve received counselling? At least you have a plan to move and something to look forward to x

[Dragonfly]

Hey. Abuser’s are abusers no matter what their sex. I think you’d benefit from counselling. Have you been in touch with your GP or agencies that may help you?

[LittleBigFeet]

Hi yes I had abuse counselling and have just referred myself back to them. Thank you for your replies. I just don’t know how to cope with week g this person all the time and everyone actively supporting her and bashing me. Hence moving away…

[HopeLifeJoy]

I agree, an abuser stays an abuser, no matter what gender they are.

I experienced the same thing with the smear campaign. He did that to discredit me in every possible way and make himself look like the hero. To him I was competition therefore an annoyance, like a cloud in his (fake) sunny paradise that he had to get rid of.
I did go away, but he chased after me and continued to shoot into my direction with the help of officials, my friends and even members of my family. Pure harassment.
It’s like he has set the dogs after me.
Those dogs are called Flying Monkeys in psychological terms and are used to extend their abuse over the survivor.
Survivors don’t even have a chance to come back up for air. They are so busy dodging the bullets coming from everywhere that they have to run for cover and disappear. And then be scared of coming back out. That’s the intention of the abuser.
Fear is a very powerful tool abusers use to keep their control. It still works very effectively on me even tough it has been a long time since the break-up.

Keep going out. Use visualizing as helping tool.
Visualize the entire outing to reduce fear and paranoia.
Visualize even going out for a simple walk.
Visualize going out the door, walking the entire way, which streets you’ll take and back into the door. Then treat yourself with a cup of tea and music or something.
To confront your fear with small steps helps building up your confidence again.

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