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I stayed because I was never beaten, I was slapped, smacked, towel whipped, nipple twisted, and kicked. Had things thrown at me, and the constant threat of consequences. I was name called, told I was fat, ugly, a s**t, my best was never enough. Like a slow water drip on my head, he wore me down. I was raped, shamed, humiliated, made to feel like the world would be better without me. Felt I didn’t deserve to be happy, my role was to keep him happy. I’ve had near death experiences in the car. I’ve learnt to only talk when spoken to. BUT, I’ve never been beaten so I stayed until I finally didn’t.
It’s taken too many years, but I finally realised it’s all abuse, and he may say he never beat me, but the scars of what he did do will never leave. I will never bring myself to tell anyone my darkest days. Although I was never beaten, I was abused, it wasn’t ok, and I didn’t deserve it. I know once I can finally get a safe place I will be gone, and I’ll have finally put my happiness first. ❤️ -
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