I’m going through the same phase at the moment, though I know deep down I don’t want him so I keep telling myself that on repeat, and telling myself WHY. It’s horrible how it just hits you out of no where when you thought you were doing so well. I literally just keep reminding myself of every time he made me cry and made me anxious and realise how little I have cried and felt anxious since he left as a result. Look for the good in your situation and the future without him, and remember what he put you through. We are all here for you x