I went to the police

[SunshineAngel]

Hello,
a week ago my fiancee assaulted me. We were having an argument and he claimed that I was turning on him. I got upset, wanted to leave the house, be anywhere but there. He wouldn’t let me go. He pressed his hands on my mouth so I wouldn’t scream and get him in trouble, he put his hands around my neck and strangled me. I felt a strange kind of calm, over the years I got used to his abuse and I stopped caring. I thought it was worth it to stay with him, even if I died in the end.
I got out of the house, promising I wouldn’t go to the police, that was always his biggest fear. I drove away. I stopped in the supermarket car park and I felt so desperate. I was in a strange country, I don’t know anyone in this town. And then I saw a police man pull into the car park, like a sign from the universe. I ended up sitting in the police station for hours, and I gave my statement the next day.
Now I am still in our flat, he is on bail and staying with his parents. I feel kind of numb and very confused. I keep going to work everyday, but I can’t focus on my tasks. I don’t know where to go and live, I don’t know how to get out of the tenancy. A lot of the furniture is his, but I don’t want to contact him to talk about the stupid furniture.
Somehow I think I am doing really well, but then at times I feel incredibly sad and my hands just won’t stop shaking. Most of the time I’m just trying to distract myself. My brain feels like it is running and can’t calm down.
I am now seeing things much clearer about a lot of the things he did to me. He would hurt himself in front of me when he thought that I “turned on him”, so I’d have to fight him and stop him from banging his head against the wall. He assaulted me a few times. I realize that he manipulated me so I wouldn’t see my family, he didn’t even want me to go on a business trip for only two days.
At the same time I feel really confused. He wasn’t allowed to drink any alcohol because of a health condition. And I thought that’s what he was doing, but since he’s left I found an open bottle of vodka in the freezer. I don’t understand where it came from at all. Has he been secretly drinking this whole time?
Thank you for reading this and I’m sorry, it’s a bit of a random post with all these different things that are on my mind.

[KIP.]

Hey there, have you been to see your GP? I think counselling with the right person would be a good idea. Also, ring the helpline number on here. Abusers are pathological liars. I was totally shocked by the lies I found out he had been telling. Anyone who can strangle another person will easily lie cheat and deceive without missing a heartbeat x

[Author]

Posts