- This topic has 1 reply, 2 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 5 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
Hi, after reading a lot on here I think it’s best that my ex and I move to third party communication. He will phone me and keep me on the phone for far too long, he knows all of my triggers, he plays the victim so so well, he gaslights me etc, and I know for sure that he gets off on this and it then takes me at least a day to feel back to myself.
How do I get a third party?
He would not be happy with any of my family or friends and he has no relationship with his own family members who I might of been ok with being the third party.
Just looking for some advice?
-
It’s not upto him to choose the third party it’s upto you. Who would you feel comfortable with. He’s going to object to anyone and won’t come up with a solution because third party contact takes away his power and control. Someone close to you who takes no nonsense. Before you go third party make sure there is nothing he needs direct contact with you about and that you’re keeping a journal of his behaviour, how it’s making you feel. Any threats etc. When you go third party he’s going to try and push this boundary by either refusing to contact them or play silly games so make sure the first few times you try it you have a backup plan. So if he’s supposed to collect them to allow you to work, he’s gonna let you/your third party down. Also make it very clear that because of his abusive behaviour all contact must be done via this person or you will involve the police. Be prepared to change your phone number and email address. It will be strange in the beginning but just keep going so that you can have some peace in your life and remove the opportunity for him to continue his abuse.
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
