Im leaving..what now..?

[Turnthelighsoff]

So the flip has switched – im done.
Iv been recording the emotional abuse – shouting, gaslighting etc sporadically for the last year. Mainly because it’s little digs here and there and I can’t get my phone out to record.
Iv applied for homelessness with my council. I have no family in the local area and around two solid friends but my daughters school is wonderfully supportive with her SEN need. I’m petrified im going to be moved from the area as i need this support i have. I really do.

What happens now? I don’t need emergency accommodation- i can tolerate him until i can move the kids to a stable home. Will they offer it and be okay if i decline? When i go i have no money in the bank – no savings and will literally just have a few bags. I can’t go back when iv left. It has to be me that goes for details I can’t put on here.

If anybody can explain their experiences and what to expect i would be so grateful.

Iv been sad, heartbroken, angry in this last year. All for him. Now im just numb. For my kids sake we need to leave. I just hope they understand in the long run. It’s hard because we go away and they miss him, yet they will come and tell me to help them find a toy so daddy doesn’t shout at them. Im afraid im going to lose them.

Thank you if you made it this far.

[Lisa]

Hi Turnthelighsoff,

Thank you for sharing with us. I hope it is helping to post about how you are feeling- it can often feel like a switch as you have described for the time to make plans to leave. You are doing the right thing by looking into your options.

If it would help to explore your rights and options in terms of housing then you may want to contact Shelter. They offer free and confidential housing information, support and legal advice on all housing and homelessness issues. They have a live chat service via their website.

Keep posting when you can to let us know how you are doing.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[StrongLife]

I just left – it was too dangerous.

Now what will happen is you will live life free of the abuse and garbage. My leaving happened without much planning and still left. How you will leave will be different.

I had mixture of options. I had professional help the next day. I go help from domestic violence advocate and counseling.

Exactly the same thing would happen today – with obviously different things happening because it’s a different time/year.

As I sit here today – there has been no yelling, no abuse and no violence. It is different life run by your own decisions- if I want to go out I go out, if I want to meet with friend I do so. There is no argument, hitting, drunken tirades from him. I have not been hit nor pushed since.

I still get good and bad days as does everyone else but I’m not in danger nor unsafe.

I am currently listening to calm music and living my own life.

Hope that helps.

[Author]

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