Is divorce the right choice

[Anonymous]

I’ve recently left my relationship. But I am married still. I’m feeling hesitant about getting divorced as it will feel very permanent. I don’t know if anyone has ever stayed married since leaving their relationship. If I’m honest, I don’t want to get divorced from him. I’m not ready and I don’t want us to be over. I’m heart broken and confused.

[browneyedmum]

When I was growing up, I always clung to the thought that once I get married, it would be only once.

That actually led me to having a ‘late marriage’ with children coming later… nobody likes reading the words, “geriatric pregnancy” on their medical chart.

I just wanted to be so sure that I has sewn my oats and chose the right partner to grow old with. I wanted to do the right thing for myself in fore-going marriage and putting my career first until I was absolutely sure that this other person was my soul mate. I waited so long because I wanted to get this one thing right.

I got it wrong. It’s hard to let go of.

[Dovegirl]

I too have recently left my relationship and married. At first I was very much ‘I want a divorce’ but now I’m not so sure. It’s not because I want him back or feel that there’s something left to give but more so as everything is still very raw I just don’t think it’s the right thing to do for me right now. I’ve endured the DV and I made the escape and I have big battles to face in the future. Ultimately I am heartbroken. Nobody ever envisions a life like that. You can’t explain to anyone on the ‘outside’how it really feels.

[Bettertimesahead]

When he first went I thought I’ll wait a year , he will get help. We can talk and he will be sober. In that year he committed (detail removed by Moderator) more offences against me and my adult kids. After the (detail removed by Moderator) one I emailed my solicitor and said start divorce proceedings. Had decree nisi done. It still felt too soon . He then went on to commit a (detail removed by Moderator) offence and I was done. It’s difficult and took me months to block him but I’ve never once regretted it. He still continues with his vile behaviour and still not accepted he’s lost control of me . Hopefully this year I’ll get financial resolution and the last connection is cut . Take care xx

[tryingtosleep]

Hey RedPanda2023
Divorce is very hard and can be very expensive too.
For me – I just need to know he doesn’t have a right to be in the house. I need a safe space that’s not his. It’s going to take a while but I feel I’m doing the right thing.
But you don’t need to rush – take your time.
X

[StrongLife]

Hi there,

Ultimately the relationship is ending or has end. I felt tied and controlled. I chose to divorce as I wanted to move on from ex.

It is not a quick process.

[Author]

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