Is it me!

[Vlamc]

Hi, I’m a newbie.

After many years 0f marriage I have walked out of my home because I can’t stand the lies and deceit anymore.

I feel so stupid for staying as long as I did, but at the same time regret walking away still hoping things could change.

He has cheated so many times, (timeframe removed by Moderator) he was seeing her for nearly (timeframe removed by Moderator), she dumped him, he then left a clue for me to find out about her but when I asked about her he denied everything and got really angry said I was spying on him.

She contacted me and told me all about it so he finally admitted seeing her but not very often and it didn’t mean anything, said she was lying about some things she had told me . We talked I forgave him. This didn’t last long before I found out he had been sending naked pics of himself to another women, she also got fed up of him, so he left me another clue to find out about this and once again denied everything then blamed me for snooping and said it wasn’t cheating anyway it was only a few pictures and nothing had happened everybody does it.

Again I forgave him but felt I couldn’t trust him anymore and I felt like I was just there for when he hadn’t got another playmate.

Time went on and one night he was supposed to be at work I received a text from him but not meant for me saying (text content removed by Moderator), not sure if he did make a mistake or if he sent it to me deliberately. When I confronted him he said he had given her a lift home from work and the txt was meant for her as joke, got angry because I didn’t believe him and said I shouldn’t keep accusing him because he wasn’t doing anything wrong it is all in my head I should trust him.

He constantly lies about silly little things until I don’t know what to believe anymore, I am so tired of trying to work out, IS IT ME!

sorry for ranting so long.

[Lisa]

Hi Vlamc, and welcome,

It definitely isn’t you. He is an adult in control of his own behaviour and making choices about how he treats you. Exhausting and confusing you is often exactly what these lies are about, it unbalances the relationship and gives him power and control. I hope that sharing support here and reading about other women’s experiences helps in starting to make sense of what you’re going through.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Author]

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