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(detail removed by moderator) I had an incident with partner where I found out they’d been hiding things from me – just what they’ve been upto etc. i confronted them and they started going mad packing up all there things, telling me to get f****d, our baby isn’t theirs, the baby can get f****d, (detail removed by moderator) I locked the doors and shut them behind him, (detail removed by moderator) shouting at me to open the door and let him in, I wouldn’t because he was agitated, he then started kicking the door in shouting it’s going through if I don’t open it, by that point I didn’t think letting him in or opening the door would be a good idea with the level of anger he was showing. (detail removed by moderator) I had to call the police when he was booting it in, what I regret doing now because obviously we have a child together and I gave a statement what I’ve retracted. He fled from here and went back to his parents where he then took an overdose and blamed it on me (detail removed by moderator) but I feel like all this is my fault and just wish I opened the door. I’m also terrified of social services involvement as
I understand they’re likely to be involved now and have no idea as to what they’ll do! -
Hi Kaybee23
You most definitely did the right thing not opening that door and none of this is your fault. Your story sounds very similar to the antics I was faced with by my ex and I wish now I’d called the police a long time before I finally did. You may not feel it now but you may be very glad you did a bit further down the line too.
I’m sure you’re feeling very scared now of the repercussions. You don’t mention if your partner is back in the home and I think Childrens’ Services’ involvement will be dependent on that. They called me a day or 2 after my ex was arrested, as they were informed by police, and actually were very nice and supportive. They told me that they would not get involved as I was clear that I wouldnt have my ex back in the home and I confirmed our relationship was over, however they said they would get involved if I took him back as I was putting myself and my child in danger.That really was an eye opener for me and I think was a big factor in not taking my ex back again (as I had done many times before) as I was scared to have my child taken from me. It kind of took the decision out of my hands, along with getting a non-molestation order that allowed me to go no contact which was absolutely vital for me.
Do you have any support from friends/ family? Or DV Services? IDVA? You need support and advice right now to help you through this. Please keep posting on here. Sending you a big virtual hug 🤗 xx
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Hi Kaybee23
No, it most definitely isn’t your fault. He and he alone is responsible for the way he behaves and the actions he takes.
His violence in kicking in the door then the swing to taking the overdose, prove how unstable he is and you were absolutely right to protect yourself and your baby. You correctly risk assessed and acted appropriately when you locked him out. He proved you right in the way he responded.
To put it another way, if you were locked out of the house, would you choose to kick the door in and take an overdose? He chose his response. That’s not your fault.
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