- This topic has 8 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 5 years ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
I’ve been a little confused over an issue. Feel like I’d get laughed at if I brought it to light. Sometimes my husband will punch my arms or legs, quite hard.it hurts and I bruise. When I tell him to stop cos it hurts he’ll still do it calling me a mornjy b***h. Is this classed as abuse. He goes off in a mood after calling me names, saying I’m just causing an argument. I dont like it but he doesn’t seem to be bothered
-
Yes it’s physical abuse and it’s illegal. The police can arrest him for this. Keep a journal and photograph your injuries. Would you punch someone till they bruised? No. Sounds like emotional abuse too. Calling you names and trying to minimise his behaviour and blame you. Please get in touch with Women’s Aid. Google your local branch or ring the national domestic abuse helpline x
-
-
My husband would do this to me on a regular basis, but telling them it hurts and asking them to stop isn’t enough it has to have serious consequences. I would retaliate but all that did was give him the perfect reason to punch or nip harder, saying if I hadn’t hit him, he wouldn’t have to hit me back!!!! Even though he knew he’d hurt me. There were times he’d have my arm so far up my back I thought it would snap all in the name of ‘play fighting’. The times he’d really kick me in the thigh enough to drop me to the ground, or put his legs out and when you try to walk by push them out further then accuse you of kicking him, so he could then kick out at you usually with working boots on.
I also bruise easily very easily so he’d try and make out he’d not hit me that hard it was jyst that I bruised easily, go figure.
Unless you do report him he’ll continue this behaviour and also grow in confidence to do more.😪 if you only threaten to report him and he does it again and then you don’t, he knows you never will. Its catch 22.
IWMB 💞💞 -
I will be taking steps to report him I’m just building myself up. I look at his face and he has this look he has with people, friendly, normal. But then I’ve seen the nasty face, angry, mean. I’m not going to lie. I’m scared of what will follow when I report him. I’m scared of his reaction. I’m scared that he’ll just come back and make me feel small like its been a waste of time
-
-
It does scare me, the outcome. Not just him getting aggressive or trying to come back. I could barely sleep last night thinking about what he might do. I got it into my head that if I went through with it that he’d take the kids. I suffer with anxiety so my thoughts were all over the place. I know I have to do it but my thoughts take over
-
Make sure you have the backing of women’s aid. They can guide you on how to report and how to keep yourself safe. Very often these bullies are cowards when the police are involved. It’s ok to hurt a woman but my ex was a cowardly little man. Womens aid can help with a police marker on your home so once you’ve dumped him he’s not allowed back or to contact you. All contact can be done through a third party.
-
At times like this I think we spend alot of time thinking, imagining what he will do and how bad it can get when “what if” you use that energy to take care of yourself and the kids? To have a goal of – this is not what I want for my life and “this” that I truly want “is”. The stuff in between, the steps you have to take is an end to achieving your goal. It’s like an obstacle course. Giving your energy to getting through that instead of being fear-based puts the control back into your hands.
Indeed you have to have a plan and the police, women’s aid, us, can help you make a plan and coach you on putting it into action. I remember being with someone who was always using the fear tactic on me, he never hit me but his words and manipulations were just as bad. Of course him punching you is abuse, big time and it will escalate, he’s just testing the waters and keeping you rattled. I finally just said in my head, enough is enough. I’m out of here, one way or the other. I could barely lift my head up I was so dazed and confused but I recognized what was happening and no matter what my fear was, I had to take action. Funny how the minute I decided to do that and took those first steps, I suddenly got a surge of energy, started trusting myself and most importantly believing that I have rights as a human being and all that was happening was me being a prisoner. When you make that decision and start walking in that direction doors will open to you, and if one doesn’t, go knock on another one.
Fear is a very ugly thing how it overtakes you, paralyzes you, affects your sleep, overall health, letting loose stress hormones from fight or flight into your system that just ravages your body and confuses your mind. On the other hand, the will to fight wisely, to put you and your children first is good positive energy that starts clearing your mind, calming you, putting legs to hope. No, we don’t have all the answers at first and it looks overwhelming but you can get the answers. They are there. People are there to help you. We are. Good healthy fear prompts you to “get away from what is hurting you”, not to stay in the burning house and think maybe the fire will stop by itself. It won’t.
The “what if” kind of thinking about how is he going to hurt me next – just keeps you shaking in your boots, hiding, looking at the floor and confused? But what if you put all that energy towards – what if I have the power to rescue myself here? What if I get my head around I deserve peace, happiness, love, respect, honor and health? Because you do. Please keep talking, you have gotten wonderful advice here. We have all been there so the first thing is to seek wise counsel and you have made that first step by being here. Time to stop minimizing absolute abuse that is truly going on from him. It is what it is.
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
