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    • #177347
      Diva11
      Participant

      A made friends with a guy from (location removed by Moderator). Over the phone he said I’m attractive. In person he then said he thinks I’m too trusting, I need to stop eating junk food and that I am out of shape. When he calls me he tells me what he is doing during the day but it feels like he just wants someone to talk to. We would hang out and he just listens to his music and smokes weed. Him and his friend call me an adult child and say I’m literally a child several times. He visited me in (location removed by Moderator) but again he commented on my looks and said I look good. On (occasion removed by Moderator) we were in (location removed by Moderator) and he asked me about my boobs and told me I was special. When we hung out he commented again I’m like a kid when I wanted to pick something off the floor to put it in the bin. He also told me over the phone he is going to buy a (item removed by Moderator) and showed me the pictures of the (item removed by Moderator) he wants to buy.

    • #177351
      Cherries
      Participant

      I would run a mile.

      A guy who respects you doesn’t call you a child.

      Why is he looking at (item removed by Moderator)? We have strict (item removed by Moderator) laws in the UK. No real reason to own one unless you’re a (activity removed by Moderator) type.

      Does he know you well enough to comment that you eat too much junk food in a he cares about your health way or is it about not ruining a body he wants for his pleasure…this weed smoking pillar of gentlemanly behaviour?

      Tbh either scenario…you’re a grown woman eat what you want not his business.

      He says you’re special. With his lips. What do his actions say? Is he treating you like you’re special?

      I could tell a stranger in the street I loved em. Doesn’t make it true. Talk is cheap x

       

    • #177381
      EvenSerpentsShine
      Participant

      Most abusers are almost impossible to spot.
      Im guessing none of us would be here if our abusers hadn’t won us over in the first place by being fun, charming, sexy, attentive and interesting.
      I think to some extent this is part of the trauma that we have to carry afterwards, the knowledge that there are some pretty unpleasant characters out there in the world, hidden in plain sight.
      But, one really clear sign for me, is that fairly early on, they do something that makes us scared. Makes us think that they have no limits to what they could do.

      This can be driving recklessly or some other high risk behaviour, sometimes physical violence against us or someone else, sometimes it’s more subtle.

      I have to say that, for me, the suggestion of buying this weapon that he’s talking to you about,  fits exactly this behaviour.

      Its not the only red flag, almost everything you say about him rings alarm bells with me, but I just wanted to pick up on one thing and ask you to really scrutinise what’s happening here.

      You are here on this forum because something is telling you it’s not right.

      please trust your instincts. Xx

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