Is this abuse or mental health issues

[Catloverlady]

I’ve been with my husband for (detail removed by moderator). He has always shouted at me and the children blamed me for things his moods erratic and I’ve felt like I’m walking on eggshells. Sometimes he’s lovely and other time’s horrible
The recent years have been hard. He has health issues and has ended with a (detail removed by moderator). Because of this his behaviour has got worse and he blames everything on his health conditions

my (detail removed by moderator) daughter is scared of him and his outbursts and my younger children (detail removed by moderator) seem to feel the same.

he doesn’t work so I work (detail removed by moderator) days a week. If I left he wouldn’t have any income

and I would be the bad person who left a man who has health issues

he sends me horrible text messages when I’m at work and on a morning he’s awful because he hasn’t slept well
mom not sure if it’s abuse or his depression/mental health

he’s so negative and everything is about him he doesn’t seem to care how I or the kids are feeling.
thanks for reading

[NewLifeComing]

I have had a similar situation and have just asked my husband to leave. He has health issues as had to have (detail removed by moderator) last year and his literally been verbally abusing and very threatening to me and my 2 children since then, the anger was always in him prior to the (detail removed by moderator)

I couldn’t see a way out and when my son started having panic attacks at school I spoke to the headteacher who then arranged us a Support Worker through Children’s Services. Our Support Worker then put me in contact with Womens Aid and after speaking to them and with the help of my amazing therapist I managed to get him out of the house and keep him out!

I was terrified that I wouldn’t have any friends left because it looks like I’ve abandoned him now, but I am still setting up his appointments and helping him for the children’s sake. My family have been amazingly supportive and the REAL friends will always stick by you, please don’t let it stop you from having a bright future! Stay strong and do what feels right in your gut. We are all much happier now Xx

[gettingtired]

I’m really sorry to hear you are being treated this way. You work (detail removed by Moderator) days a week whilst he sends you abusive messages! Horrendous. My ex would do this (he didn’t work and was bankrolled by his parents) and I would endure his nasty messages/calls throughout the day whilst trying to keep it together at my workplace and act normal. It’s so exhausting. He would virtually blame me for being at work and not there to ‘support’ him. I don’t see how this is in any way due to mental health issues, it’s his attitude and he has a choice to behave this way. It’s very sad to read that the children are scared of him and that you all walk on eggshells. Again, I can relate to this having grown up with an angry Father who was conditional with his parenting. And then into a relationship with a similar man. No one should have to feel scared in their own home and I’m really sorry you are going through this. Do you have any support locally through a women’s aid group or similar? My advice would be to keep posting on here (as long as it’s safe for you to do so) and try to build a support network around you. You don’t have to live like this and life is so much better once you’re out xx

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