is this an abusive act?

[blue eyes]

Early on in my relationship with my ex, we were at his (detail removed by moderator) house. We were in the kitchen and he was making a cup of tea, he stirred his cup and then put the spoon on the back of my hand and looked at me and grinned. I was puzzled, the spoon wasn’t very hot just warm. I never challenged him just thought it was weird and I was surprised that’s all. Just wondering what other people think. thanks.

 

[Headspinning]

It’s kinda hard to say without more context. If you had just been throwing snowballs and he was trying to heat your hand back up with a warm (not burning!) spoon then you could say that’s sweet?
But if he progressively became more physical and started to hurt you, you might look back with hindsite and recognise this as being the first sign.
I guess the lesson to be learned is if someone does something that feels a bit weird, ask them why they did it?! And go with your gut?

[KIP.]

My ex did this too. Thought it was funny. I wouldn’t burn someone’s hand with a hot spoon so why should he. Yes a sample of things to come.

[bringbacktheoldme]

Like Headspinning says it’s hard to give an answer because we don’t know the context or what you had both been doing previously, if he had taken it straight from the boiling water and put it on your hand I would say yes it was to hurt you but if it was allowed to cool down first it may just be jokingly. Was there any further issues following that?

[Bobocel-blossom]

Hi ,blue eyes .This happened to me within cooking breakfast routine ,with a sort of (detail removed by moderator) we lived together.Be observant what is next “light”thing…take care.

 

[Author]

Posts