Is this normal?

[Tigerbread]

I posted a time ago that I had left my home with my children due to an abusive family member.
We are all still living apart. I have legal representation trying to get the family member removed. However (removed by moderator) the family members friend (who is lovely) was (removed by moderator) telling me how dreadful the family member is and how they are having to see a doctor and how worried they are about them. They have no idea that this family member is a n********t and has been abusing me for years. I didn’t tell them the truth but am now struggling with how I feel. I feel nothing, numb and want the txts to stop but am worried what the family member will do next.

[Lisa]

Hi Tigerbread,

Understandably you feel anxious and conflicted emotionally since having the conversation with this person who knows your abuser.

It may be helpful to talk these feeling through with a local domestic abuse support worker who will understand how you feel and offer emotional and practical help if necessary. Let them know what is concerning you right now so they can assure you and bring clarity to the situation on how you want to move forward.

Keep posting to let us know how you are.

Take care,

Lisa

[Tigerbread]

Thank you Lisa

I contacted a support worker who suggested this forum so I feel like I’m going from pillar to post. I guess it’s just par for the course so have to carry on and try and get through it

[Lisa]

Hi Tigerbread,

I’m sorry to hear you feel like you’re going from pillar to post, I acknowledge that’s frustrating. Can I just check, the support worker you mention, was that from your local domestic abuse service? Please don’t give the name for safety reasons, just whether it was a local service or a helpline/chat service.

This forum is always here as a useful source of support from other users, however having a local support worker for some ongoing support can be really useful.

What you have explained in your first post is definitely something I think other forum users could relate to; having this information make it’s way back to you will have understandably unsettled you. It is common that abusers use others to continue the abuse, particularly if they feel that their direct approach is under threat. Many survivors find that it becomes necessary to distance themselves from those mutual acquaintances who could be used by the perpetrator to continue the control tactics; a difficult decision I know, but sometimes necessary.

Keep Posting,

Lisa

[Author]

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