Is this on purpose?

[Shazza]

I’m so confused right now. He often says things to me and then pretends like it never happened and the conversation never happened, leaving me feeling like im going mad.
He recently said it was ok for me to go out for a few hours tomorrow. However, when i have asked today if it’s still ok he has acted like the conversation never took place and is now sulking as in his mind i have planned to go out without consulting him. I’m so confused. Is this just him being forgotful or is this part of abuse? I was so looking forward to a few hours to myself and now the guilt trip is making me not want to go. I’m only going walking, the way hes acting im off to meet someone for an affair! (I never would)
Please tell me im not going crazy

[Ariadne]

Trust your mind, and do not let him plant seeds of doubt.
Take care of yourself <3

[KIP.]

It’s gaslighting by him and it’s designed to make you feel crazy. Keep a journal for yourself x

[Cocktails3]

Classic gaslighting abusive behaviour to keep you confused and anxious. Trust your gut! I wish I had. Take care

[Hereforhelp]

Absolutely gaslighting, feels like you are going mad, they do this to keep us in the FOG. You are not going crazy, keep a journal so when it happens again you can start to see it.
Keep posting ❤

[Weemebreeze]

Trust your gut 💕

[SingleMomSurvivor]

Yes it is on purpose & it’s part of the abuse. He knows that he’s initially telling you one thing & he knows that he’s later acting like he’s never said it. He does it to control and confuse you, get you to doubt yourself and make you feel as though you are unraveling & can’t trust yourself. It’s intentional behavior on his part & it’s abusive.

[Bananaboat]

Yep as others have said it’s all part of their abuse, if you still go expect a reaction, if you don’t go expect a reaction – that guilt you’re made to feel so you cancel only benefits him, you can’t win so do what you want to do.

[Anonymous]

Your not going crazy but what they do and how they feign innocence and “conveniently” forget (accidentally on purpose) conversions they’ve had with you can make you feel like your going mad it’s just more games, emotional abuse (and in this case gaslighting) can cause p.t.s.d and symptoms similar to bipolar, maybe start writing things down (the situations and conversations as they occurred)if you can get out now, then just please leave before the mind games drive you insane 💛🤗💛

[Hsjslehdhd]

Yes its on purpose and no your not going mad, it’s all part of his control. It’s very typical for an abuser to do this especially over things like us going out. It won’t really matter if you go out or not now, hes already decided hes got a problem with it so like others have said expect a reaction either way.

There is no reasoning with them over stuff like this, they make no sense on purpose, it’s a tatic. Whether its a conscience one or not, trust tourself always, you are the one in the right mind not him

[Shazza]

Thanks so much everyone for your replies. It’s really reassured me that it isn’t me and that he hasnt just forgotten but is playing more of his mind games. Im keeping a log so will add this to it. It really does mess with your head doesnt it.
I did still go out and as predicted had to deal with the consequences. But as said above, i think this would have been the case whatever i had done and it was just a good excuse for him really.
Take care everyone x

[Juststuck]

Yes, he does this on purpose. It’s gaslighting, I’m sorry you’re going through this. If you haven’t heard the term before, look it up, I bet you’ll see that it fits perfectly to what you’re experiencing.

[Author]

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