Is this scenario classed as abuse?

[backtome]

I get communication from him that he’s in “x place” (having paid to get in) a couple of hours before he was due to pick up our lg from school. He knows I’m in work and so is expecting either my mum or dad to go for our lg at drop of a hat. Neither mum or dad could go so i had to leave work myself to pick her. I’m lucky that work are very accommodating.

When he finds out i picked her up i will get a load of shpiel about how my parents are useless and never help me and they don’t care about our daughter etc. I’m basically waiting for the argument to happen and trying to think of ways to stop him finding out i picked her up but without asking my lg to lie i can’t see how that could happen.

[backtome]

Thanks Relieved. I just need to accept everything and keep telling myself I’m not overreacting. It’s hard because he goes through long phases of being fine and then he’ll just kick off about something (verbally not physically). x

[Lightning-Jet]

You are absolutely not over-reacting. This is one of the many games an abuser will play. They seem to get a kick out of it.
I too know all too well the feeling of walking on eggshells, I can never do right for doing wrong.
A lot of abusers will go for a time without doing or saying anything, but you will often find that they have been storing up information to use against you. They also do this to catch you off guard because you get comfortable with things being ok, that’s when they will start again, usually about something really small and insignificant & completely out of the blue. They will do that purely because they can, no other reason.
He’s trying to deflect behaviour onto everyone else, being useless himself but making out it is other people who are useless. That is another way of him trying to get at you & hurt you, to bring your loved ones into it and to criticise them in any way he can.

Take care, I hope things are ok x

[backtome]

Thank you so much Lightning-Jet, for your reply here and on my other post. Things are ok, I’ve got a get out plan and intend to stick to it. It’s just the aftermath of that that I’m dreading now.

And you’re right, he is useless, he can’t even look after himself and his own life let alone look after our child. He’s a leech and I need him to suck the life from someone else and not me and my little girl any more. x

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