It has been said.

[PurpleHedgehog]

Husband had ignored me for nearly (detail removed by moderator). I tried to speak to him about seeking counselling. He agreed he would look into it while I was working.

(detail removed by moderator) I was given another barrage of accusations in the first conversation we had had in (detail removed by moderator). Apparently I put everyone before him. He cited an occasion where he made plans and I already had an appointment. I tried to organise the day so we could do both. He didn’t want to and sulked and cancelled.

Apparently this means I am cheating. I asked if we could try to discuss this sensibly with a 3rd party, and which counsellors had he found. He told me he hadn’t bothered as it wasn’t worth it.

I said in that case things weren’t going to change. He said it would be best if he left. I agreed and suggested that a divorce would be sensible then. He told me that would free me up nicely..

I give up. I even told him his control of money (I have to ask for everything) and his 7 calls a day could be considered abuse. He barely shrugged. That gave me chills. It sounds like he has heard it before. I would have been horrified if that had been said to me. But nothing.

So now I have to work out what the heck I do next… and see how he behaves later I guess.

[KIP.]

My advice is to speak to women’s aid. He will simply keep changing the goalposts and continue to abuse you. Try going to counselling yourself for domestic abuse. Don’t tell him but your eyes will be opened. Have you read Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven? Give the national domestic abuse helpline a call too x

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