It’s subtly starting again. Is this me being paranoid?

[katielove]

It’s been a little while since the CPS decided no further action after investigating for over a year. Not enough evidence apparently. All bail conditions lifted. He is free. From the bail conditions being lifted to now there have been a few minor incidents that would just look odd to an outsider who didn’t know the history. The incidents have been directed at one of my children, not me.He has no legitimate reason for contacting any member of my family at all and has been told not to by the police.
I really feel that he is testing the waters again. What can I do or am I just being paranoid?

[Anonymous]

Hi Katielove,

Keep a record of what is happening in case you need it further down the line. Those little incidents can amount to a lot if put together. He may be testing the water or trying to make his presence felt. Either way take no chances and keep your eyes and ears open. Stay safe x

[Anonymous]

Hi 🙂

Take a look at non-molestation order and see whther it will help you

All the best x

[KIP.]

No you are not being paranoid. Trust your gut. Tell the police and speak to your child. Make them aware that no contact is allowed with this person. Did you know you have the right to ask the CPS to review their decision not to prosecute? My husband is doing the same. its called plausible deniability. Don’t fall for it. You know best. We manage to steer clear of them so it’s easy for them to stay away from us in every way. But they don’t. Keep reporting every incident. The police can build a picture and use new stalking laws.

[LittleBritishPhoenix]

I agree with the others Katielove, keep a record.

I’m having a similar issue except mine is still on bail and I don’t know if it’s him or if it’s just coincidence – my best friend told me it’s a sensible paranoia, the thing that protects us and keeps us safe. Even if we are paranoid, it’s because we’ve got good reason to be. x

Write down times, dates and exactly what happens and all written down it starts to build up a picture. If you can evidence any of it, do that too.

[katielove]

Thanks everyone for your replies. I have reported everything to the police and my IDVA. They say that, at the moment, that he hasn’t contacted me so I probably wouldn’t get a non-molestation order.
KIP – What do you mean by plausible deniability? Is there anything I can do about it? Also, there is a deadline for asking the CPS to review and I have passed it. Although the police were helpful in some ways, their communication was appalling both with me and, I feel, the CPS. As far as I can see, perpetrators are given more rights than the victims. They took about 15 statements from different people regarding every type of abuse and then said that they did not have enough evidence. There were also medical records and records from Rape Crises. The whole experience post-abuse has been as bad as the relationship.As a result, I have little faith in the police at all.

I will keep vigilant as I imagine that as he has had no response to the last contacts, he will just carry on…

X*X

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