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I left my n**********c partner a few weeks go and now I’ve found my self letting him back into my life nothing major but we have been talking and taking the children out for walks etc part of it feels nice but part of me is scared I’m getting pulled back in. I’ve got my own accommodation which I’m not giving up nor letting him in. The children have been coping better since we have been getting on. Am I making a massive mistake or could he really just excepted it and is doing what’s right for the kids I’m sooooo confused and scared x
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Yes you’re making a massive mistake. Your gut is screaming at you. Write down every time he’s abused you and how that’s made you feel. This is how they hook us back in. But you know the abuse is just round the corner.this is the love bombing. They often hook us back in just so they can dump us and hurt us even more. Go back to zero contact and don’t expose your kids to a n********t because he will use them to hurt you. If the kids are coping better it’s because they too are in the honeymoon phase x are you in touch with your local woman’s aid? Have you read Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven?
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I think you know it’s a mistake. It’s always troubling when they appear to have transformed into the kind of partner we’d spent so long hoping for. It’s easy to forget the sh*t we’ve left behind.
You’ve left already. So you really have no need to be talking to him about anything except the children. It’s very early days so cut contact to the essentials and don’t engage in chat.
You don’t need to be with him when he takes the children out. His relationship with his children must be untangled from his relationship with you. It will be as confusing for them as it is for you. They won’t have been unaffected by your unhappiness in the relationship and will feel relief and hope while the current good mood lasts. Are you being fair to them or yourself? Give yourself space and time and don’t be rushed.
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