I’ve been on my first freedom Programme session

[Footballfan1]

Last night.
It was great.
Other than on here, it’s the first time anyone has understood what I went through.
It felt good to connect with women who have been through the same trauma.

They added me to a WhatsApp group with all the other ladies.
It’s a great form of support.
The sessions officially start in January, this was just an extra session to offer support for the Christmas period.
I highly recommend joining a freedom programme if you haven’t yet. Xx

[nbumblebee]

Wow what a brave and amazing thing to do.
Well done sweetie. Xxxxx

[Footballfan1]

Thank you Nbumblebee,

We are all brave on this forum, every single one of us.

The heartbreaking thing was, the other ladies were years out of their abusive relationships , one lady was 5 years out and still using the freedom programme.
If I was expecting to be over it within a year, I think I got a sharp shock.

So many of the ladies said how unsupportive their friends and family have been, they felt let down.

I think for me, I did something I was afraid to do, but it paid off.
A few weeks after getting out, my solicitor drafted a statement for me.
It was very rough, but the first time I read it, I broke down.
It was the first time I saw the abuse on paper.
I immediately sent it to my female friends and family, even a couple of work colleagues.

I hadn’t gone into detail of our split until I sent that statement.

You know what, it worked.
They didn’t always know what to say, but they were supportive.
They all said how on earth did I hide it and stay silent all those years.

I was embarrassed about the sexual cohesion elements, but once I sent it, it felt like a release.
My poor mum found out the ins and outs through that statement.
I feel bad, but I don’t think I could have put it into words the same way..

[nbumblebee]

Just wow you seriously are incredable i cant imagine how hard that was. I cant even open up to my counsellor let alone people I know. I am in awe of your bravery I really am.
Keep moving foward keep learning keep being kind to yourself and my goodness be proud be so proud of yourself xxxxxx

[Strongenough]

Sounds really supportive. Unfortunately there were no courses in my area but I did the online course and it was very informative. I would have loved to have done the course with other women. I am sure this will be a great tool for you and think it’s great you have taken that step to join. It must be nerve-wracking the first time!

I can relate to you regarding the length of time people need to heal. I never expected to still be going through what I am X amount of months/years on. Its quite bizarre really.

[Footballfan1]

Thank you both for your kind replies.
Strongenough,
Keep looking regularly for zoom meetings.
They are scarce, but they do pop up now and then.
I have only done 1 out of 13 weeks and already feel a massive confidence and belonging in that group.
Nbumblebee, I bet you have a diary or log of events.
Consider sending it to 1 person you trust, even if you don’t believe they can help .
I guarantee you, even if they have no words, they will offer a small sign that they are with you and support you 100%
We only have 1 life, we are only mother’s to little children once over.
X*x

[nbumblebee]

Thank you sadly No i dont dare write it down but bless you Thanks for the advice and your beautiful words. You take care of you and keep fighting. 🩷

[Babs]

Footballfan1 thank you so much for sharing this. I have made a couple of enquiries locally but had no response so I think I need to reinvestigate. I’m glad you have had such a positive experience and I look forward to hearing more!

[Hereforhelp]

So happy to read this Footballfan1… I found by the 3rd/4th session with The Freedom Programme so helpful and yes, other women there and their stories, all so similar… we also have a WhatsApp group.
You have come so fair Footballfan1, keep pushing forward.

Thank you also for sharing how your statement felt for you, with your family friends… I couldn’t do the SA side of the abuse, I found I just couldn’t (maybe one day)… I think as it overlaps SA from my passed.

Pattern Change has been an invaluable course, really challenging…
Keep us updated Footballfan1, rooting for you ❤️

[Footballfan1]

Thanks for your support Hereforhelp,
I appreciate your kind words.
I feel that I’ve opened my eyes to the abuse, but the start of that was joining this forum, hearing other ladies experiences.

I will look up pattern change thanks, I’d not heard of it.

I honestly think I’d have got back with ex if it wasn’t for this forum.
He tried extremely hard, went through all the tactics.
I almost fell for it a few times.
I’ve got lots of legal stuff to sort out, but I feel 100% prepared, and I feel that all the authorities are on my side.
I feel so supported everywhere I go.
I couldn’t have got the help I needed without coming on here, when I was Shell shocked and clueless.
All the posts on here, have kept me strong and determined.
I know why women go back, or can’t leave in the first place.
These men are leeches and they suck all the life out of you, and leave you a shell.

Once I got though all the love bombing, excuses, guilt tripping, ex must have seen a shift in me.
He ended up backing off, but not until after a few months.
If there’s ladies here in the middle of that, my experience is to educate yourself on abuse, live separately until you have 100% gained clarity.
My ex tried tactics I saw on here, he would be homeless, he was unwell, all the excuses to come home.
Stand firm, I know it’s easier said than done.
Once you get through the situation, and your on the other side, you make much better choices for yourself and your children xx

[Author]

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