I’ve been reeled in again

[Mellow]

I sent him a message concerning the children and it ended up being messages concerning his love for me wanting me to have more kids,sexual and more I feel like I take one step forward two steps back .i have this friend on line in a narc relationship she said she still talks to her ex when she’s bored and it can do no harm .so I feel like I’ve put myself back there but at the same time I was lonley I actually miss the good times ge was showing me pictures etc.I’m so sad I just want that back but I know it’s not really real he won’t change but I feel in grief I just want my family back

[Lisa]

Hi Mellow,

It may be that for your friend in her situation it does no harm, but people and situations are all different. You’re the expert in your own life and so are best placed to think about your experiences and decide whether more contact with him would be harmful.

Loneliness can be so painful. He knows that so is reminding you of the good times to try and manipulate how you’re feeling. It’s normal to feel grief and loss for the life you wanted with him, but you also recognise that he isn’t going to change. Trust your instincts.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Sungirl]

Try and stay strong and don’t get sucked back in. Accept the process of moving on will be painful. I wasn’t able to do that and I’m back with my husband and I wish I had been stronger. Focus on yourself, spend time with your friends and family, do things you enjoy.

[Hereforhelp]

Hi Mellow, he is working on you, he has sensed your loneliness and is showing you happy memory photos etc to manipulate you further… please be kind to yourself. The grief you are feeling is real, grieving for the nice times is very hard to go through but once you get through it that part lessons and you move on to the next phase.
This was our first Christmas without him around, my teens let out their emotions/pain just before Christmas Day (all regarding their dad as unbeknown to me they both unblocked him so both received manipulative messages which triggered them)…
After the emotional onslaught from my children we had the most peaceful Christmas we have ever had. It was unpretentious, we didn’t make a fuss and dress up like normal… I took away all pressures and let us just be…

Mellow you will move on in your own time, it does take time and support. You see the abuse now, once you see it you can’t unsee it, even if you want to.

Your friend who contacts her ex, that feels right for her… your ex is.an abuser (they all have narc traits but there is a difference, NPD is a rare mental health condition, usually non violent, an abuser knows what they are doing and is not a MH condition, your ex knows what he is doing).

Keep posting ❤️

[StrongLife]

They try to get you back. It can last a while – it’s very difficult to break up with them without their reaching out etc.

Sorry you are going through this. Yes – keep strong – strive for that normal calm life. It’s worth it.

[terribleheadspace]

I just wanted to say…. please remember how hard it was to leave and to get your own space. Please remember the inner conflict with yourself when you were together.

I go to 2 things when I waiver internally, I remember the fear and the abuse.

I cant remember a day in which I havent missed part of him or the relationship recently. It will take me a very long time to grieve it. My feelings for him though were never the issue, it was how he treated me. I think that’s the kicker, it’s why it hurts so bad.

I miss him very much.

I will never go back.

[Author]

Posts