I’ve left – terrified

[gettingtired]

I’ve left and I didn’t even plan to today. I grabbed some stuff and our pet whilst he wasn’t there and went. I just went into auto pilot. I haven’t cried yet I just feel numb. The threats and abuse got so bad, I felt like it was my only option. But he’s gone silent for now and that’s what’s worrying me so much. I know all Hell is going to break loose. I literally don’t know what to do now?
Do I block him? Report him? I’m terrified.

[Eyesopening]

Well done!!
I know how you feel darling, the intense fear feels so real. But you are safe now away from him. Txt him/email to say you have left and not to contact you. Then block him on everything. You need some time to just recover before you can make any more decisions (in my experience) just feel safe and know that you did the right thing.
Just get through the days as best you can with your support around you, reach out for more support if you can from your GP and local DA support.
Keep posting and stay in touch with us here.
Xx

[nbumblebee]

I am so so proud of you i know how much courage this took.
You know hes gone silent because he wants you to worry he is turning up the guilt to max now.
You need to find all that inner strength within you hold on to that fear cause thats gonna carry you through this you need to hold strong stand tall and stand firm dont let him pull you back. Block him block his family keep yourself safe tell someone anyone where you are what you are doing and if he comes near you or thretens to you call the police.
Your safety is all that matters now. You did it you actually did it now i guess the hard work begins sweetie staying away but you got this I believe in you. X

[Needtoclarify]

Well done! You are safe and you need to keep it that way. Write down now all you are feeling and the reasons you have left him because the cycle of abuse is not over. He will manipulate and love bomb you. I would report definitely, it will help your self worth and also give you a sense of security.

Stay strong you wonderful, brave lady. So happy for you and as numb as you feel, don’t let trauma bonding or guilt pull you back to the terrifying life you have endured xo

[Wants To Help]

That’s great news @gettingtired, well done you 🙂

Strange isn’t it how we mentally make all these preparations when and how we’re going to leave, and then suddenly an opportunity presents itself and we just grasp it and run with it.

The next few hours, days and weeks are going to be really hard for you and your FOG will ramp up, so be prepared for that. The most important thing is that you and your pets are safe, everything else that has been left behind is just ‘stuff’, and ‘stuff’ is replaceable.

If you can take any advice from us all based on our own experiences, please take the advice not to go back to him. No matter how much crying, begging, pleading or self harm threats he makes he will never change and never make you happy, he’ll just learn how to manipulate you even more and keep an even tighter grip on you. I know how much it pulls at our heart to see them and hear them in emotional distress and devastation, but this is all about them losing their supply, it’s not actually about losing us as people who are loved and cherished by them. We serve their needs and now they have no one to fill those needs and it means they’ve got to pull their socks up to find someone else who will. They’ll do this within a matter of days if we don’t go back (many already have their back up woman on stand by anyway) while we genuinely need time to get over the man we thought he was – or wanted him to be.

You know from your time on this forum that this is going to be hard, but in all the posts you have read not one of us have had a positive story to tell about going back and having a wonderful life. Please don’t let him fool you in to thinking that you can be that statistic that shows we’re all wrong. If ever you have doubts, trust in us and not him.

I’m so happy to hear you are away from him now though, sending you big hugs and best wishes,

xx

[Winter2022]

You are amazing for doing this and taking the next step. Keep up the strength to stay away and focus on looking after you and your pet. The next few days/weeks will be the hardest but I know you can do this. Please reach out if you need any support to keep staying away. We believe in you xx

[Eggshells]

Oh wow, that’s amazing! Well done you.

Try not to worry about the silence. From what you’ve said before, he’ll be with his vile parents right now, bitching and squawking.

Once he’s vented his spleen with them, he’ll start messaging and it won’t be a pleasant experience so please block him.

If you start feeling the pull of trauma bonding, it’s really important to resist. We’re here for you honey. You’ve done brilliantly. xx

[Hereforhelp]

Getting tired, this is so good, such good news you are out and with your pet. As already said, it gets harder now you are out, the abuse cycles and bonds (trauma bond) will be used to make you feel guilty etc… keep strong and keep posting on here ❤️ big hugs Gettingtired

[Watersprite]

How are you getting tired? It’s so bumpy to begin with. Definitely block him and focus on you – eat healthy drink water go for a walk and reach out for support. Be gentle on yourself – it gets better x

[Author]

Posts