I've made a start

[Mumaoftwo]

Went to my local womens aid today. I’ve also had to call the police and have an interview with them (detail removed by Moderator). He hasnt been abusive physically just financially and emotionally.

I’m scared that he is going to find out and I’m suffering really bad anxiety. Which I never have before and now I don’t know if I’ve done the right thing.

I don’t know if I should just forget all about it and just carry on. I just don’t know

[she-ra]

Oh my lovely you have so done the right thing. Be strong and brave, you can do this. I wish I had the courage to do it too. Do it for your babies xxxx

[Mumaoftwo]

If I can do it you can. Even if you just go at talk to them it’s a start. You don’t have to take it futher.

[Iwantmeback]

Being financially and emotionally abusive are perfectly legitimate grounds fir separating and divorce. It’s very hard to walk away from an abuser. What you have done has taken great courage. It will soon show his true colours, so be prepared for him to threaten he’s going to do this or that. Try and record if possible any conversations you have with him. Save texts or emails, keep a journal from now on, if you haven’t already done so. You have to put the oxygen mask on you in order to save those you love. Good luck, keep posting, we’ll give as much advice as possible. Many have been where you are, they’ll be best to talk you through different scenarios. You are amazing, ❤❤
IWMB 💕💕

[Mumaoftwo]

I physically feel sick to my stomach at the moment.ive tried so hard to stay stronge. When j have this feeling.

[Iwantmeback]

Oh my lovely, it’s horrible how the tension makes us react. It’s the not knowing isn’t it? I’ve just re-read your first post. Just think you won’t need to get into bed with a smelly pig for much longer😏 hopefully WA will be able to get you somewhere to move into.
Despatches on channel 4 had a programme on a wee while ago about life inside a refuge,it was a way to see inside and see that they’re really quite nice wee individual units. Each room had its own key, there’s welcome bags for the children too. it’s not ideal, but it’s a safe place to go and be able to breathe, until a local authority house comes up.
It’s about letting go of the happy ever after, it’s about grieving the loss of who we were and the future we thought we’d have.
You can also go to your local authority and declare yourself homeless, they have a duty of care too, to protect women and children from abusive partners. But we’re getting ahead just now, it might not go down that road.
You have just done something for you recently, without his knowledge and permission, you are going to feel scared. Be safe sweetheart.
IWMB 💕💕

[Mumaoftwo]

WA said to ring the police for a crime number so I can see about housing. My problem is I’m on the lease as well for this so with out it my local council will say I have suitable housing already. I cant go to a refuge as my eldest would suffer for this and she has contact with her family on her sads side and I don’t know where I would be and I don’t want to do that to my youngest as she should see her dad.

The police want an interview and I nearly didn’t go ahead with it. I’m a coward at heart 😩

[Fudgecake]

Being abused financially and emotionally are often the stepping stone to physical abuse. You have contacted WA and started to take action because deep down you know that things will only get worse. Preparation is the key. You will feel sick with the anxiety as it’s traumatic to break away from our abusers. However, once you have broken away then your future is yours to control and not his. Look after yourself and be kind to yourself too. Don’t think that you’re a coward, that’s just the effect of being emotionally abused. We often feel we’re useless and have low self worth. This is what our abusers want us to feel to keep us under control.

[KIP.]

It’s the anxiety of the unknown with the police. For me talking to the police was empowering. Yes I was scared but they were great. They’re trained to deal with abuse victims (make sure it’s domestic abuse police you deal with). It’s all on record now for anyone else he abuses. I can tell you without intervention it’s very likely his abuse will continue and escalate. Time to say enough is enough. You’re still very vulnerable so grab all the help you can at this stage x

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