I’ve met someone…

[Rockandrolldreamscomethrough]

Hello,

It’s been a while since I posted. Things are good, I am in a really good place mentally and enjoying my life. I am seeing my friends more, planning social activities and loving finally having a happy home for me and my daughter. My relationship with my mum has even improved slightly since leaving my ex. He would always be so horrible about her and whilst we have not always had the best relationship, my ex would pick fights with her when she came to stay with us and constantly tell me he hated her and she shouldn’t be allowed to come to the house.
I’m still accessing counselling and I write about what happened with my ex, it helps to read it back because even now sometimes I don’t feel like it was abuse and that I was being over dramatic.
Things overall are great, But I have recently met someone. It’s very early days and I’m just taking each day as it comes. He seems really genuine and we have a nice time together. I am constantly overthinking it though and on the look out for red flags. I think that must be normal? The last few days I have felt very overwhelmed and sad. He hasn’t done anything wrong, it’s just me. I can’t really put my finger on why I feel sad. There is no reason for me to feel sad, it’s made me back off from him a little bit because my brain can’t cope with the overload of emotions and all the thoughts going round. This morning I almost feel numb. I don’t know if what I’m feeling is normal? Or what I should do, if anything?

[Put the kettle on]

Hi, it’s great to hear that you’re doing so well and building your life and relationships back up.
I think you’re feelings towards the new relationship are totally understandable and normal. Healing is a process and takes time. I think being cautious and looking for red flags isn’t a bad thing especially at the early stages, you’ve been through an abusive relationship so taking things slowly at a pace you’re comfortable with seems a good idea to me.
Maybe it’s reminded you of past relationships, the good/better times, or of expectations you had of that relationship.
I think it’s good you’re listening to your emotions and acknowledging them, from my experience I wasn’t allowed to express mine so when I left and was able to have emotions again it’s a lot to deal with. It sounds like you’re putting the inner work in so well done

[Author]

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