- This topic has 2 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 5 months, 1 week ago by Atsah.
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11th July 2024 at 10:38 pm #169776AtsahParticipant
I try so hard to keep going, keep positive etc but it still never seems to leave my head.i am having support from a therapist but it’s so hard re living all again.then i get through a reasonable day at work go home and can be watching tv and out the blue i have wave of emotion and i get very anxious and very upset feel sick to my stomach.i can talk to friends but they must be sick of it all by now.i feel so many different emotions i am just constantly exhausted.i only get few hours sleep then i go to work and act out being normal and then repeat it all over a again.just feel so sad and isolated even though i have friends and family. I am always the odd one out without a partner etc people at work keep talking about their hols coming up and where am i going i can’t afford to go away and haven’t done for years…i know i am lucky compared to some and shouldn’t moan but really struggling tonight so just needed to talk ….take care everyone
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11th July 2024 at 11:22 pm #169779IndeepindanceParticipant
Atsah I totally understand and believe this must be normal. I feel extremely lonely despite having friends and family as nothing is the same without him by my side. Like you the thoughts are constant which makes everything else hard to focus on.
I can’t think of anything worse than going on holiday even if I could afford to. Who would I go with and how sad would I feel, it would just be another painful reminder of all that was lost and everything I’d suffered.
The mornings are my hardest times, I wake to my heart thumping then the reality hits me again, my stomach seems to fall a hundred miles and I can’t move for ages, then I just cry. Feels like it will never get better.
Some people I feel have really let me down during this time too which has been disappointing. And don’t feel guilty as that won’t serve you, your emotions are still valid, what happened is real and needs care and kindness. You’re doing better than you realise. I hope you still have someone you can talk to, keep posting here too.
Xxxxx
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12th July 2024 at 5:48 am #169783AtsahParticipant
Thank you for your kind words.i hope things start to get better for you soon.you are stronger than you think too.we carry on! x
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