just feel broken

[Confused123]

so x years on since i have left ex, divorce is still going on, am hoping will be finished by the end of this year. HOw do these abusers have no consieous, i am just at break point how much it is costing me to divorce this man, i know everyone says hang in there , but as lived as extended family, i just dont seme to be wining, the ex b in law is just to much, i just feel like admitting defeat,he wants it all and is more or less going to get it , i just cant prove nothing , its just costing me more and more . Everyone says to me u got this far, dont back down, reality is i have no energy left. i am forcing and forcing myself to raise money to pay fees and for what to tbe told that t**t keeps it all. I just feel like such a joke, how was i so stupid to let them do this to me , they have totally f*** me over, totally got away with it , i just have no hope or faith left. Am just sitting here crying as there is no justice and trying to be stupid ms positive, feel like such a c**p mum . People say you can do this , but i cant . either way i am messed up , they have truly and successfully f*** mylife up and kept everything. Paid all this solciitor fees and for what, hate feeling this low and crushed and knowing they wil get nsatisfaction of it costing me so much and they still got to keep it . I am beyond rage, it is like they have killed the light in me

[SunshineRainflower]

Sending you a big hug Confused. You are so kind and supportive to others here, please be kind to yourself. It sounds like you are undertandably exhausted, if you can put all your energy into looking after yourself. You have the strength to continue, you probably just need some good rest and a good cry and to get it off your chest.

I don’t know much about divorce and the costs etc so some of the other ladies will be able to help with this, but in the end, what is money in comparison to your health, your safety, your freedom, your future, and that of your children too. I know it’s easy to say, but it’s true. On the other hand, you do need all the help you can get to get the best deal you can out of the process. Have you contacted Cab and rights of women?

Please don’t give up, you’re doing amazing and just need rest and support. If you could also plan something nice for yourself like a massage or cinema trip or just baking yourself a cake it would help to revive you and give you a bit of space from everything. I like to bake or garden when I feel like this and afterwards I always feel calmer with renewed strength to continue. xx

[lilaclady]

SO sorry to hear this, like Sunshine says you are so kind to us on here, you have been helpful to me on here so please be kind to yourself. I think you need to make sure in this process you are looking after yourself. It is SUCH a long battle the divorce etc so conserve your strength where you can. Sunshine is right doing nice things for you will help. I am making sure I do the same. Will exercise help, or a nice bath? Just little things. Are you sleeping?

Definitely check out what you can about the legal costs there will be a way to get help. Definitely CAB and Rights for Women. I found CAB to be a great help. You need help with this. These men like to drag this out to break us I know my ex will be the same he will fight me for everything with a long legal battle. When all i want to do is settle this all fairly. Can you speak to your solicitor about the fees, is there any other arrangement there can be.

Don’t give up this is what he wants. Look after yourself build your strength try and find happiness in little moments of things YOU like doing. It will be over one day and we are ALL HERE FOR YOU xx

[Nova]

Confused123 I can understand what your feeling, the battle is so tough…and sometimes you need to pause..is there anyone who can help advocate with you over this situation?
I know that having another person by my side would help me…so I’m just putting it out there.

Having as has been mentioned a CAB appointment or a support worker, from one of the DA charities who can sit with you…I feel there’s got to be advocacy support. Solace & victim support uk also have IDVA’s

Take a deep breath hun, support is what you need. Just think you have come this far..you can decide with support what you think is the next best move, no point burning yourself out. ‘That lot’ and what they are are just not worth your head space…although your hurting…longer term they will be out of your life for good.
The main concern is you and keeping you together and not too over burdened.

big hugs

Cx

[Confused123]

Hi Ladies

Thx u for the wondeerful support, yes i just had to switch off for two days, am just going to try my best and see what happens, just taking each day at a time, i cant fast forward this, i cant reduce the costs, so just deep breaths and emmance stress and strength and count down to get these evil f****** out of my life , what else can i do. Cant take no time off work to meet agencies or support workers , am just having to trust my solciitor and i find words of wisdom from u ladies on here helps me loads to npush along. Sending hugs and love to u allxx

[Alicenotichains]

Well you help us along- you are such a source of support- you said to me last week when I was sent that card and was thinking about breaking no contact “remember why you left him”. I took your advice and didn’t contact him. You have probably helped save me from making a terrible mistake. Stay strong lovely lady, and thank you for all of your support x*x

[Confused123]

glad my support helps you all so much , yes through our experience we can guide each another xx

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