I am now separated from my emotionally abusive husband. This week he has the kids and so I am without them for the first time for longer than a day. I am doing everything I am supposed to – nice things for myself, keeping busy, seeing friends etc, but I feel so so sad. I miss my children so much. I never imagined a life where I wouldn’t see them half the time. I didn’t want any of this. And now I’m questioning if leaving was worth it. He wasn’t very nice to me – told me I wasn’t a good mum, blamed me for everything, never said sorry, called me a bully and selfish and said I was abusing him. I ended up feeling so bad about myself that I think I couldn’t take it anymore so I filed for divorce, but now I’m thinking it wasn’t that bad, I should have put up with it, if I had learnt not to react as much it wouldn’t have been so bad, that sort of think. And then I wouldn’t have been without my children. And they would have had a family that was together. I just feel so awful today. I want to go back in time and change everything. I just don’t want this life.