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I am now separated from my emotionally abusive husband. This week he has the kids and so I am without them for the first time for longer than a day. I am doing everything I am supposed to – nice things for myself, keeping busy, seeing friends etc, but I feel so so sad. I miss my children so much. I never imagined a life where I wouldn’t see them half the time. I didn’t want any of this. And now I’m questioning if leaving was worth it. He wasn’t very nice to me – told me I wasn’t a good mum, blamed me for everything, never said sorry, called me a bully and selfish and said I was abusing him. I ended up feeling so bad about myself that I think I couldn’t take it anymore so I filed for divorce, but now I’m thinking it wasn’t that bad, I should have put up with it, if I had learnt not to react as much it wouldn’t have been so bad, that sort of think. And then I wouldn’t have been without my children. And they would have had a family that was together. I just feel so awful today. I want to go back in time and change everything. I just don’t want this life.
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You have done a very brave thing and it’s the right thing for you and your children. Your children didn’t deserve to see you treated like that, you didn’t deserve it and you shouldn’t have to alter your behaviour to stop someone treating you badly. You wouldn’t treat a friend that way. Well done on doing things for you. It’s very hard but you can do this.
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