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Another solicitor bill landed today , I know said b4 struggle , just need strength to keep going , can’t believe how expensive financial proceedings are ,how do they really expect us to pay when no legal aid is available, am planning on calling my solicitor tommrow to see how costs can be reduced . Has anybody walked away half way through proceedings . I keep telling myself if I give up now how will I feel later , all I want is what due to me , why is life so unfair . Was actually thinking earlier maybe it would of been better if he had killed me but then I think of my boys and the ordeal they would have faced with him . Just pray for me ladies that this divorce finishes quickly . Spoke to my parents about how I struggle, hoping they’d offer support financially but get they under no obligation to do so , they just said give up then or fight with out a solicitor , neither seemed appealing to me . So suppose have to keep that head high and keep pursuing 😞😞
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Hi Confused,
Bless you.
He wants you to feel like this; he wants you to give up and to question your own strength and stamina.
In my mind, living with an abuser for so long takes a strong and resilient ( not weak) person.
So many women on this forum and who I have spoken to have said that they wished they hadn’t given up and fought for what was theirs. Keep on going, Confused, if you can. Be sure to take breaks and to engage in extreme self-care during this time. Tell yourself it will be Seth it in the end: you deserve a good a future as possible, and he has affected you badly: maybe you need something behind you, some stability and a leg-up upon which to build your future. These abusers want to take everything and for us to start from scratch just because we’ve left them: there is no need to start from scratch. Those years we toiled when we were with them mean something.
I kept telling myself that I wanted to teach my ex a moral lesson.
My ex tried to get me to give up every step of the way. It gives me a feeling of great strength to know that I didn’t.
Big hugs x
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wise words Serenity, Confused I know how you feel but please keep going, when this is all finished then it will all be worth it and you will be pleased that you kept at the divorce, maybe your solicitor can agree to monthly payments in smaller, more manageable amounts, rather than large amounts to pay in one go? It might be worth asking. I agree that it is completely unfair that legal aid has been removed, but you are strong, keep going and fight for what is yours, and look after yourself also, lots of hot baths, sleep, water, pamper yourself. Believe me I have been in your shoes so I know how you feel hun, it is hard but the relief at the end is all worth it!
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Hi
Serenity – thx u for your reply, i always use you as an motivation to pursue, i am looking at every avenue to continue
Cup of cofee – would love to hear from u , will try p m you, just need all the support i can get from ladies who have been through the divorce
Called my solciior today to explain my scenario that am runnign low on funds, again she said we can look again at the criteria if I can apply for legal aid. I am kicking myself so much that i never took a non mol out against him, that owudl of been my ticket to getting legal aid, cangt beleive I reported to gp and social services were invovled yet still not enough evidence to be able to claim legal aid just cause the wording is not correct as required, this system really needs to change
Apart from me moaning my solicitor said there is nothing else she can say apart from not to give up now i have come this far and paid so much, my question was what to do if you have no funds which she said cant represent you then, accoutn always has to be in credit. Am going to see if my family will help me out, but think the answer will be no, they will say just walk away, will be intresting to see the response
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