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    • #141205
      WillIreallygo
      Participant

      We are now in the phase of “giving our relationship another last chance as he begged me for it.
      Today was snowing and very very windy. My girl sometimes like to (detail removed by moderator). As soon as I saw the weather changing rapidly my first thought was that it unsafe for her to (detail removed by moderator). I (detail removed by moderator) so I texted him if he can pick her up from school. I could see he read the message and didn’t answer.
      I came back home, and there he is playing (detail removed by moderator) and drinking a beer straight after work. I spoke with him and raised my concerns about our girl and he told me that she needs to (detail removed by moderator), learn how to (detail removed by moderator) and and that I have to stop spoiling her.
      I can’t believe that he just don’t care about his own daughter and leave her at risk like that…
      Do I overreact?
      I feel like I’m getting crazy…

    • #141206
      Newgirl
      Participant

      I’m so sorry that you have to go through this my daughter is older and I still do things like that. I believe it’s because they are selfish and they know that it will hurt you by them not doing it! I hope she got home safe big hugs

    • #141236
      Twisted Sister
      Participant

      Hi WillIreallygo

      Its common for abusers to not spend any time considering the safety of their children, or using their children to stress and worry their mother just to keep control over them. I didn’t see your particular incident as most of the detail has gone to prevent you being identified online, so cant really comment on your specifics. It does happen and it does leave mothers feeling this way, so you wouldn’t be alone in feeling this way, or experiencing this lack of care from your abuser.

      Children are viewed by them as merely pawns in their games to hurt in order to maintain ultimate power over all.

      warmest wishes

      ts

    • #141241
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      Lived this so many times, they don’t care in the same way we do and almost (or maybe actually) do the opposite of what we need to upset us. Recently I had to take one child (detail removed by moderator), left other child with reliable relative, he found out and dismissed the reliable adult. When I returned he’s left the child (detail removed by moderator), unfed and was clearly drunk/high. You do what you feel is right for your child xx

      • #141242
        Twisted Sister
        Participant

        Oh Bananaboat, how wreckless and distressing, but isnt it classic behaviour, seeing to themselves whilst their children could be, well, I dread to think, and with the amount of perps out there that do this, I’m sure many children come to much harm as a direct result. Even before I realised, I did have a sixth sense about not leaving them alone with him in sole charge, each time I had though it had been the same as your incident finding them at risk that way, or in other ways.

        warmest wishes

        ts

      • #141296
        Bananaboat
        Participant

        Thank you, yes if I’d had my way he wouldn’t have known and I’d have relied on myself and the other adult as I knew exactly what would happen but someone thought they were helping me by telling him. It’s funny isn’t it because he used to be all ‘I’m getting full custody, you’ll never see your child, you’re an unfit mother’ yet he’s barely in his child’s life even living in the same house and can’t cope when he is there. Thank god our kids have us eh! xx

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