Let down

[Ruby2shoes]

I’ve rang woman’s aid last week who put me in touch with a local outreach service. They were supposed to call me during my lunch breaks at work they assured me they’d withhold their number and not leave a voicemail if i couldn’t answer.

Today they rang about 4. I missed the call and the number was not withheld and was shown on my phone. Furthermore they left a voicemail saying who they were. Thankfully I was at work but I could have easily been at home and my husband could have intercepted or seen the number. Feeling really worried this was my chance to start getting help and I feel let down before we’ve even got to the first hurdle how can I trust them now?

[SunshineRainflower]

Hi Ruby2shoes,

I’m sorry to hear they did that, I wonder if there was a breakdown in communication somewhere. It doesn’t sound very good at all as they must have been trained in the importance of keeping the abuser in the dark. If possible I would give them a call, ask to speak to the manager and explain what happened. Then state that it is imperative that they withold their number and don’t leave an identifying voicemail. I’m sure if they realised the error they would be horrified and whoever did it would be spoken to on the importance of the abuse survivor’s safety, it is surely domestic abuse day 1 training basics. Once you have left I would definitely complain about it as it shouldn’t have happened and it could have put you in danger.

Please don’t let it make you give up. I’d also give the helpline another call and tell them what happened and see what they suggest. I think you can also email and go into Womens aid in person, are they suitable options for you too? I’m just thinking this could help avoid a repeat and ease your mind about him hearing any voicemails etc.

[Amaguq]

Hi Ruby2stones.

I am so sorry this happened to you but I can only reiterate what Sunshine said.

Take care and don’t give up xx

[Lisa]

Hi Ruby2shoes,

I am sorry to hear this, it is understandable you feel let down by the outreach service. If you feel comfortable to contact them again then you could tell them this was not how you requested contact due to risk. Or you could contact the 24hr National Domestic Violence Helpline again for further advice, and perhaps ask if there is a different organisation in your area if you feel unable to contact the outreach service at the moment.

Try not to let it stop you from taking the next steps, you are doing brilliantly.

Keep posting to us when you can.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[Ruby2shoes]

Thank you all. I spoke with them again today and they were extremely apologetic and accepted that it could have put me in danger and it should never of happened. I expressed how unhappy i was about it and they understood and assured me it won’t happen again. I’ve got no alternative but to give them a chance this is the only lifeline that I’m clinging to at the moment for all the advice i need.

[Author]

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