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Firstly i must apologise. I seem to be posting a ot at the moment. My ex would say I’m attention seeking but Im really not like that. I think it’s that having finally admitted to what’s been going on I need space to vent and i dont want to be constantly talking to people about it. This is a perfect space to get it out and on top of that, I know you get it!
Im really p+×¥*ed off this morning. I contacted the police over 3 weeks ago having reported my ex a week earlier and being told i should think about making a statement. I said i was ready to make one and she said she would come the following week. I ended up with 9 pages of examples that she had said i should write down in advance. On the evening she was due she emailed last minute to say she was off sick. 10 days later she emailed to say she was back and could come this week offering 2 options of times. I emailed back saying tonight would be best. I’ve heard nothing back all week so emailed yesterday (i know she’s on nights) to confirm and again nothing back. I know I’m going to spend all day winding myself up and she probably wont show. I’m really struggling and don’t want to lose my nerve. I’m also confused that she would encourage me and now make me feel so irrelevant. ive been reading lundys book (why does he do that) and it completely confirms my experience but also all my fears as to how this is going to play out in family court. Wish it were a requirement that the police and legal professionals read that book! Dont want to be down in front of my kids today but just want to cry! -
Hi there and you are not attention seeking. I have felt and do feel that way also, but it’s his voice, it’s society’s voice that says that. It’s not selfish to want to live in peace and quiet with respect, it’s not attention seeking when you’re reaching out for help, for someone, anyone to listen to you. It’s not being deceitful. I know it’s a huge step to take informing the police, but my way of looking at things is, if I can’t control it, let it go. There’s too many outside factors to take into consideration, but that does not take away the lack of communication. Give her another chance to reply to your emails, let her know how anxious not hearing from her is making you. The professionals are doing better but they still have a long way to go before they realise just how big this is and one officer can’t deal with maybe 10,20,50,100 women and give them her undivided attention. I’m not saying look at it from her point of view, I’m only saying that until the professionals realise this is too big to be just under the care of a small department within the station, only then will women’s fears, like yours be put to rest. If you don’t hear from her, go higher. Involve your local councillor or MP if you have to. Is there anywhere you can go to have that cry? It’s better out than in, I find not releasing makes me angrier now😉 everyone’s experience of court is different. Not sure if I’ll have to do that, but will deal with it like everything else. Worrying about it just now, is stopping you deal with what is important now. You, the children and staying calm and being happy.
Best wishes IWMB 💞💞 -
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Ring the station and ask for her sergeant and let them know your experience. There’s nothing to stop you giving the police a copy of the book or telling your solicitor to give the judge a copy in family court. Because of the new coercive control laws the judges do receive training based on the work of Evan Stark so try to read some of his stuff. Keep going. Resources are stretched but that’s no excuse for poor communication.
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