Letting Go!

[Cinderellaslippers]

How many people find it hard to let go? I was married for (detail removed by Moderator) years to a man who tried to kill me on multiple occasions I was choked, held at gunpoint, whipped, bruised, thrown through a window, spitted on these are just some of what my ex husband did. I spent (detail removed by Moderator) years in a marriage of hell. Finally divorced and healed but left with emotional scars and some physical scars. Then about (detail removed by Moderator) years later I met a man who I thought was my forever only to end up in another abusive relationship he was a n********t verbally abusive and (detail removed by Moderator) years into it he bruised up my arm and put me in a choke hold I forgave him and tried to work it out asked him to get help but he never did. He went one time w me for counseling and that was it I asked him to stop drinking never did. I still went back. I forgave him I was in love. I had nothing to compare him to but a marriage from hell. I hadn’t had a real relationship since my ex husband nothing lengthy till this man and I wanted it to work I thought I’d been through way worse so it’s ok. Stupid right? So I stayed he got verbally abusive (he was still legally married to his wife as well) but lived with me. I asked him to get divorced he kept holding on even though she left him. He was still holding on to the hope of her while w me. Where was my self esteem?? So I later had (detail removed by Moderator) back surgeries (detail removed by Moderator) and then (detail removed by Moderator) after that ..after my last one he kept complaining I wasn’t walking fast enough he ended a partner to keep up with him he’s put me down degrade me. Belittle me. Compare me to his wife. I had him leave because he started getting rough and too controlling w me and never got the divorce paperwork going like he promised he would. Then he came back stayed awhile then more problems. Then he came back one more time this time he got drunk (detail removed by Moderator) His wife was his first love so I know he was talking about her. I felt like c**p. I told him to let go of my wrists he didn’t . One of my wrists is scarred from an injury and has (detail removed by Moderator) and he wouldn’t let go. I have bad pain w my wrist and he knew it is fragile and didn’t care. He left (detail removed by Moderator) I made him leave. All promises never followed through. Point here is don’t waste a minute waiting on these men to change the only life you can change is your own and your life is too valuable to keep it in the hands of a man that is unworthy..

[Escapee]

Hi….in a delicate place so couldn’t read all your post……bumping you up so hopefully you’ll get a response. x

[Anonymous]

Hi Cinderallaslippers

That’s horrifying what you’ve been through, I’m glad you managed to get away from your abusers

I can’t relate to finding it hard to let go of an abuser. For me when I finally recognised who this ‘man’ was I became completely numb and knew that was it. I shut him down mentally by not responding or giving him a reaction when he so desperately wanted one, I also stopped the physical contact and for me I think that’s when you completely know enough is enough.

I would say maybe it sounds like you need to do you for a while. Take some time to get to know yourself again and to heal from your abusers. And in the future once you have healed yourself and took time to reflect on your abuse you will become abit more wiser and hopefully not allow yourself to be fooled by a monster again. I wish you all the best xx

[Cinderellaslippers]

Thank you turtle dove 🕊 for your response. What a beautiful name. It’s so comforting to talk to women who have been through similar situations. Thank you for your advice. I believe that’s what I need to do. My ex husband I do not talk to at all. My ex boyfriend still tries to talk to me and insists that he’s “trying” to fix things meaning like getting the divorce and he hasn’t even filed yet and says he’s doing an online session with a pastor at a church but people who are abusive need professional help from anger management professionals.I’ve tried to be nice and hear him out every now and then but he still calls and texts trying to talk you know how they are. I believe though you are right that the best way to heal is to just say NO and not talk for awhile I’m always scared of offending or hurting his feelings but he’s done enough damage as is hurting mine. You are so right. Thank you. Please stay in touch!
Blessings!!!

[Cinderellaslippers]

Thank you hope you are safe and well.

God bless

[Author]

Posts