Letting go of the Family Home

[lover of no contact]

Hi ladies,

I would value your experiences around housing loss/change due to being in a relationship with an abuser, needing to leave the abusive relationship and as a result having to let go of the family home.

In my case as soon as he realized I wanted out of our relationship he paid reduced to no mortgage repayments some months and has forced the bank to act; along with the bank heaping interest on the loan. All we’re left with is a pile of mortgage debt which hopefully should be covered with the sale of the family home. He has a very good income but has strategically made out to our children he has very little income (so I’m left paying mostly for them). Meanwhile he has been squirreling his money away for his new roof over his head.

It looks like I’ll have to rent and let go of my family home. I love my home:( I can only afford a room yet I need to and want to provide a stable home base for 2 of my just adult children.

But this is not the worst in the world when I’m reading most of the posts where you’re still trapped with abuser. This is my last tie with my abuser ex husband. And not being in a relationship with him and suffering abuse from him is fantastic.

I just need to work through my feelings in this loss and change so would value your opinions and I’m wish I could provide a home base for my just adult children which I can’t if I’m renting a single room but that’s all I can afford.

[fizzylem]

What a git; yes a decent man would want to divide things fairly and make sure you all have a roof over your heads hey – these men! Horrid to the core. Have you rang Rights for women LONC? Cant anything be done about his nest egg? Or the way he’s behaved with the mortgage?

[lover of no contact]

Thanks Fizzylem,

Your reply made me feel better. Yes they are guys and they are horrid to the core and No they are not decent men and never will be. That’s the cards I’ve been dealt dealing with him. I can’t control the way he’s behaved with the mortgage; but I can decide I’m not going to let this set me back in my attitude. I will continue to be grateful, positive and find the joy in the simple things and he’s made me adopt minimalism (to cope with his financial abuse) and at least that’s good for the planet.

The best revenge is to thrive not just survive and he’s not going to stop me doing that.

[lover of no contact]

Typo. Yes they are gits!

[fizzylem]

Lol I hear yer! Go you! You are so right, I didn’t get too much trouble from him for a few years, while he thought I was suffering living back with my parents, but since I have started to rise and have paved the way to a good life again he’s been up to his old tricks and is having a good go at trying destroy what he can with whatever is available to him – won’t work! Moving onwards!

Love minimalist living / conscious living – enriches the soul! You will be fine, better than fine soon x

[lover of no contact]

Thanks Fizzylem😘

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