Living in hope. What is the future like?

[tobehappy]

I would love to hear from anyone who has actually been able to get on with their lives. i am in the (detail removed by Moderator), trying to sort finances, child contact etc. It is an impossible task….especially when my ex won’t provide information needed, won’t agree to things…the usual.

I have worked so hard on recovering myself and feel I am making progress. Having completed freedom and other programmes there has been a massive change in my outlook. Things don’t knock me back like they used to but I am still in the most frustrating stalemate and worrying about my children’s emotional well being.

The only thing keeping me going is what my life could be like when this is over. I know it is never truly over as we have kids and there will still be massive events such as new partners which will be perfect for abuse to continue but I am hopeful and finally look forward to the future.

Please tell me there are people out there who’s lives have changed for the better x

[LittleBritishPhoenix]

Firstly my dear, congratulations on getting this far! You’re doing amazingly well and should be very very proud!

I wanted to give a brief response (I’m struggling with the new forum haha!) there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel!

After fleeing to refuge I’ve now moved on and have my own home once again, just me and my child, although it isn’t fully over due an ongoing legal issue life is pretty wonderful! Being single is amazing, as is having my own freedom and space. The future is bright, and I think in time we just get stronger and stronger and more able to deal with potentially abusive situations (such as you described above)

Once again, well done my dear! Onwards and upwards!

Love and light, LBP, x

[Serenity]

You have the strength and resilience to do it.
With knowledge and understanding of abuse ta tics as your weapon, you can do it.
I have endured almost (detail removed by moderator) years of my cruel ex trying to bring me down- to take my home, kids…
He didn’t win. I got all the advice and support I could. I never gave up, though at times I felt like it.
Slowly, I am healing and rediscovering who I am. This is your life now. You can fill it with as much or as little as makes you happy. Whatever gives you peace.
When or if the abuser plays their games, get support to outwit them and get your power back.
Abuse is horrendous, but it leaves us with a great deal of knowledge and understanding of how abusers operate, and we can choose to protect ourselves in the future.
Good luck x*x

[Anonymous]

I agree with serenity,I have learned so much about abuse, I can read a text from him and unpick it and I can see his little tactic throughout. I am so much more aware of how he behaves now. Yes I have ups and downs,last week I had so many issues I thought I would never see the week through, but I did and still fighting strong. Mindfulness helped me, I accept that I have a feeling about something, which more than often passes.
My life is still a battle at times,but 100% better than it was before I left him. I am developing self awareness, and self respect. I think the abuse has done me a slight favour in that I am only starting to love myself after an emotional childhood.
I realise I cannot change everything, but I have the power to do as I please now, it’s called freedom and I love every minute of it x x x just try not to over analyse stuff with the children,yes they may have been effected by abuse, and you cannot reverse this, just except and support as best as you can. Good luck x x

[mixed-up mum]

Hiya Unity – Ive FINALLY got on here and found you again – missed all you ladies SO MUCH – it must be nearly 3 weeks now since the old forum disappeared and its taken me until now to get back on here and properly in to ‘action again!!!

So how are you doing – how are things working out?

You want to know if its worth it – remember the post we all did on the old forum – all the things we COULD now do that we couldn’t when we were with our exes – and all the things we no longer had to do now we are free – that was such a good post – so positive and so encouraging – wish we could read it all again – its very good for ladies who are newly out o read that kind of post – gives the hope and encouragement for the future.

Anyway – its lovely to see you too have made it on to here – and hope we can chat again soon.

Take care – and all the best!! 🙂

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