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I have reached the heaviest I have ever been in my life hitting the scales at 18st 4lbs. You guys are the first people I have admitted it to. Gaining a unhealthy 4 stone since being with my ex and leaving him. I have decided its time I sort my health out and gain back some self esteem. But where to start? I have ordered some exercise DVDs but havent a clue on healthy diet plans that work. Have tried slimming world but the commitment to attend classes weekly is daunting as I don’t like going out alone especially at night. What has worked for you? Thank you! Hopefully my username movingonandon will be a literal thing lol x
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I forgot to add I used to be a fitness freak before I got with my ex and I was highly motivated and now I am not so any good motivational youtube clips books stories etc id be grateful x
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BBC good food have a 7 day healthy eating plan on the go at the moment. Recipes and shopping lists to help.
There’s lots of advice available but what we need is WILLPOWER!!! I haven’t got any and swing from over eating to forgetting depending on my mood at the time.
Walking is good. Can you do some regularly and really push yourself?
I’ve just given away last of my Xmas chocs to work and filled the fruit bowl with small pieces of fruit but even too much fruit adds to wt gain!
I read somewhere a couple of sticks of celery before a meal helps wt loss not tied it but might as I love celery.
I think the key is will powe, portion sizes, healthy eating and exercise. And repeat. And repeat. I feel I lack motivation though….
Good luck x*x -
If you like the idea of slimming world, there are classes at different times of the day. Alternatively, they do an online program that doesn’t require you to go to a group.
Are there any activities you think you might enjoy or like to try? Could a friend join you for motivation and moral support?Have you been to any support groups or counselling since your relationship ended? Abusers rob us of so much and sometimes we need a helping hand to help us climb back up.
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Hi Moving,
I used to be so fit and ate really healthily.
Due to the abuse and correlating illnesses, my health and fitness went to pot. I was over two stone over my ideal weight.
I didn’t feel able to get fit and well. Every day living with him was traumatic; I’d desperately try to cook him wonderful meals to keep the peace, and by the time I’d booked everyone’s dinner, I ate rubbish ( so don’t eat meat). Also, my illness made me feel very lethargic and cold, and I would crave carbohydrates to give me energy. Add to this the alcohol that was drunk more often than. B before to drown my sorrows…
I had a lightbulb moment a while back. I didn’t want my lifestyle to be permanently affected by him. I wanted to get back to the old me: thexme who was fit, who
Respected herself to not eat rubbish..I think each of us will find the diet or eating plan that suits us best. For me, I needed something that gave me energy. I have been on the Paleo diet for a while, and Ive lost weight and feel much more energetic than before.
You can do it. Start slowly, and build up. I began very slowly: I had lost my fitness and my body still felt too traumatised to exert myself too much. Start small. Small changes will make the difference. Gradual
Is best: crash diets don’t work.Visualise the old you: what did you eat? What unhealthy foods would you have never eaten that you’ve been eating? Try to reeducate your taste buds into liking those more healthy foods again. You do get used to eating healthily: looking back, I can’t believe how unhealthily I ate a year ago.
I think gaining control of our health and fitness leads to us gaining control of our emotions and minds. It’s all beneficial x
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Well done for being so honest. The first step to change is wanting to desperately do things different. I find for me what keeps my weight under control and my mind and emotions fairly controlled is walking for an hour a day come rain, hail or shine. If you said to yourself starting from tomorrow you were going to walk one hour a day for the next 365 days no matter what. The way I look at my walk is its ‘my treat’. I’ve spent the last few decades catering to his lordship (abuser ex), and my children and others, yes I got my self-esteem from helping and doing for others what they could do for themselves. So ‘my hour’s walk’ is like buying myself a cup of coffee or bunch of flowers. Its my treat to myself.
Drinking the 2,000 litres of fluid a day is a must. fluids,fluids,fluids.
Replacing cakes, sweets, biscuits, crisps, fizzy drinks with raw veg (carrot,celery,pepper etc).
Replacing desserts with greek yogurt.
Small portions of all meals.
A salad a day. (Keep it simple: cucumber,tomato,red onion,avocado,oliveoil,lemon juice).
Replace butter with tahini or something else.
Also I am a people-pleaser and I find it hard to say ‘no’. I am not very good at saying no. My reasons range from not wanting to upset people, appear rude and also when others put me under pressure to not to say no. I thought a good way for me to practice saying no would be apply it to the unhealthy foods. So if someone offers me cakes, sweets, biscuits etc I use it as practice in me saying no. If the shops are tempting me to put cakes, sweets, biscuits, crisps, butter in my trolley I’m going to use it as practise in me saying a big NO to them. Hopefully then this will transfer over to me being able to say ‘no’ to people when needed and not always trying to please them.
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Hi , I too was thinner when I met my ex and have been over weight for years im now free and am throwing myself into getting fit, something I’ve wanted but was never allowed to do. I do a lot of running which helps blow off the steam and stops me over thinking but I also started swimming my local baths does a ladies swim which I find fantastic as I’m nervous around males maybe something like that might help. X
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Thankyou all for you tips and words of encouragement. I have decided to set myself a start date and it will be (detail removed by moderator) reason being there’s a pending court case against my ex (detail removed by moderator). So once that is over he is then officially out of my life and I will then take control. Ive dug out an old slimming world book which i attempted when we was together but failed. I know it works i lost loads of weight on it before. Ive got my davina mccall dvds and a exercise bike because i do not want to embarrass myself in public (just yet) I am still on the waiting list for a councillor as I know longer work and will be getting it from a charity. I like the Idea of being strong and saying NO which has definitely disappeared from my vocabulary. Willpower is shewly trickling back into my life. I have to do this for me and my health. Also I think the key is instead of treating myself with a busy day or week/month to junk i will set aside that takeaway money and get myself something to wear in a smaller size when I get to it. Regaining my old self. Currently dress like a frump its time to get my Mojo back lol. Sorry for the ramble hope ive managed to reply to everyone xx
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I’ve been liking this video recently:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcN37TxBE_s&t=756s
It’s simple exercises and it changes every 40 seconds so you don’t get bored. I couldn’t finish the first time I tried it and I still take many breaks in order to help myself do more. I think it’s about starting very small and watching your diet. Apparently Ed Sheeran lost tons of weight recently by doing 10 minutes a day of 30 second intervals sprinting and jogging. Keep it doable or you’ll get discouraged. You might even want to start by just walking.
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I doubled my weight since I fled. I am so fat like never before in my life. I tell all the doctors I see that I developed an eating disorder because of the abuse.
I have hit the ceiling some time ago and the weight gain stopped. But I cannot find the control to loose that weight again.
Whenever anything emotional happens I stuff my face.
I use the binging to prevent myself from cutting too.
I do not care how I look or if my big size offends anyone. I could not care less. My concern is about my health, that is now affected by the massive weight gain. I already have a long list of health problems and the body fat does not help with them.
Just now I ate a large amount of food that I ordered online, because I had a flashback that upset me massively and I am too tired to go out shopping.
My food cupboards are soon depleted.
I told myself that I would only buy fresh fruits and veg from the market once that is all gone. It does not seem I will do that.
As long as I cannot control how much I eat and which food, all the gym and whatsoever will have no effect. And unfortunately does the gym increase my hunger feelings. The more I go to the gym the more I eat. I have intakes of 5000 kcal daily at times.
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