Lost

[Tiredandconfusedandlost]

I just don’t know what to do or how to read a situation with him. He’s an addict , but says he’s not n won’t give up green smoke. He’s volatile, both positively n negatively! He loves all my girls, (detail removed by moderator) r from previous relationship and (detail removed by moderator) his own. He’s had a stress breakdown at work (works with (detail removed by moderator)), quit his job and cancelled all social media. He’s now about to start treatment with a mental health team. Yet at the back of mind all I think of is, is this a game?! Is it a go at me? I can’t do right for doing wrong. He’s quit work before, started his own business, says it was too much n I didn’t support him so gave it all up! Then was stressed cuz had no work so (detail removed by moderator) gave him a stop gap job ((detail removed by moderator)yrs at at it!) buys fast cars then sells them! Won’t do anything with me or my friends. Reckons now he’s quit work I shouldn’t take kids to my parents.
I know this is a complete ramble! But I don’t know if it’s another phase I have to survive?! I’m I not supportive?! Is it all my fault?!

[Bananaboat]

Is his addiction, his work successes/failures, his mental health or his money responsibilities your fault? No.

Do you think he’ll go through with the treatment? If he’s just saying it but not doing it then he’s playing the game.

There’s a lot of red flags here, are you getting any help or support?

[Anonymous]

No it’s not, he’s deluded, lying to hisself and like most abusers a chronic blamer who takes no responsibility when things go wrong that are his fault, I could be wrong but he’s seems like he’s getting involved with things for the momentary thrill? I know someone who smokes green and he’s delusional, lies about silly pointless things (he’s a nice guy but) is this the type of thing you want forever cos he seems unstable in his mind like kinda all over the place. I don’t know you but you strike me as the type who would 💯 support their partner if you thought they could do what they were planning, sometimes it’s better and happier to be without them or finding someone who could benefit our lives better than adding extra confusion, dysfunction and unnecessary pain 🤗💖🤗

[gettingtired]

Mine is an addict and an alcoholic too. He also quits all jobs and now hasn’t worked for a few years. Everything is my fault because I don’t support him at all apparently. He’s also quit the few mental health counselling opportunities he’s had. I think when drink and drugs are involved it becomes even more impossible for them to change x

[Bananaboat]

Agree with this but also don’t fall into the trap of thinking if they just quit the drugs/drink we’d be ok, they are still abusers x

[gettingtired]

Yes absolutely, even if mine wasn’t smoking or drinking he would still be extremely entitled and have ridiculous expectations of me. I just think the drink/drugs makes it worse and just another thing for them to blame on you. Another thing they won’t take responsibility for. I have even been asked if I would ‘help’ him to not use drugs before, when I said that’s down to him I got told how cold and uncaring I was, then the silent treatment x

[Bananaboat]

Oh yes been there! I got told that because the world now accepts LGBTQ that I had to accept him being alcoholic and longtime drug user, erm…x

[Tiredandconfusedandlost]

Thank you for all the positive responses and helping me wade through Some of it. I do thing the money job thing is all a thrill, a high all most and then wen it comes down, there is an opportunity for blame there

[Author]

Posts